Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo Quotes
McGee: Boss I'm sorry. I know. I know. I'm an hour and forty six minutes late.
Tony: Forty-seven Tim Tebow. Better put a knee down. Start praying.
Gibbs: Let's go, McGee. Sick bay. Come on.
Tony: I love it when he's late.
- Permalink: Boss I'm sorry. I know. I know. I'm an hour and forty six minut...
McGee: Stan's a good guy. Besides, he knows that Ziva's vulnerable right now.
Tony: Aha. That's exactly what I'm talking about. You see he would use that to his advantage. Swoop right in, like a hawk going after a sweet, innocent, furry little Israeli.
- Permalink: Stan's a good guy. Besides, he knows that Ziva's vulnerable righ...
Tony: Well you have got a long list of juvie priors, a history of possessions and frankly a blood workout that makes Sid Vicious look clean.
Wyath: Sid who?
- Permalink: Well you have got a long list of juvie priors, a history of poss...
Tony: If Vance is waiting for Robin Williams in drag to come floating on some magic umbrella, singing "Do Re Mi", he's going to be waiting a long time.
McGee: Wow Tony, three movie nannies in one reference. That's impressive.
- Permalink: If Vance is waiting for Robin Williams in drag to come floating ...
Ziva: Anything new on the nanny front?
McGee: Not that I've heard. Vance's search enters its second week.
Tony: Which left his agents feeling like a gaggle of nuns waiting on white smoke from the Vatican chimney.
- Permalink: Anything new on the nanny front? Not that I've heard. Vance's...
Pitt: My sister's kid. Useless.
Tony: Useless. Well with a name like that, what do you expect?
- Permalink: My sister's kid. Useless. Useless. Well with a name like tha...
Pitt: Me, I'm not the coddling type.
McGee and Tony: We've noticed
- Permalink: Me, I'm not the coddling type. We've noticed
Tony: Mr. Pitt, you sit tight.
Pitt: Sit tight for what? I just said I didn't kill him.
McGee: Until we know that's true, you're still facing a weapons charge.
Tony: Assault with a deadly Dobie.
- Permalink: Mr. Pitt, you sit tight. Sit tight for what? I just said I did...
Tony: You know, I've been thinking about getting a dog.
Gibbs: He's not a dog. He's a Marine.
- Permalink: You know, I've been thinking about getting a dog. He's not a ...
Vance: Where is he?
McGee: It's haircut Tuesday, Director Vance.
Tony: Yeah, the bowl should be coming off his head just about now.
- Permalink: Where is he? It's haircut Tuesday, Director Vance. Yeah, the...
Gibbs: You volunteering for that, are you DiNozzo?
Tony: Stripper. Caribbean beach. Is that a trick question?
Gibbs: Behave yourself, Skippy.
Tony: Aye, aye sir.
- Permalink: You volunteering for that, are you DiNozzo? Stripper. Caribb...
Tony [to Ned Dorneget]: What in the name of Brooks Brothers are you wearing? You look exactly like what you are: a pubescent federal agent.
- Permalink: A pubescent federal agent.
McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.
- Permalink: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even...
- Rating: Unrated
McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.
- Permalink: Abby's highly-specific rules for dating
- Rating: Unrated