Bishop: So. Military school, huh?
Tony: So. Yeah.
Bishop: Uniforms, PT, drills....
Tony: Those are all things that happen at military school, yes.
Bishop: How'd you end up there?
Tony: It was Senior's Hail Mary - trying to straighten me out after six boarding schools in four years.

Tony: Okay let's get something straight. You will not - under any circumstances - tell McGee one detail of what you saw at my old school.
Bishop: The only thing I saw was that you were a good cadet and that they respect you.
Tony: Yeah. So let's not go blabbing about it.
Bishop: Why does it bother you? It's part of who you are. You can't ignore the past Tony.
Tony: Just watch me. And not one word or I'll tell McGee that song you sing in the shower.
Bishop: How do you--
Tony: Cheap motel. Thin walls. It's a ridiculous song.

Bishop: It's your past, Tony. And it's a good one.
Tony: I have a tricky relationship with the past. I can either bury it or fixate on it. Still working out the kinks.
Bishop: Well whatever happened in your past helped make you the awesome guy you are today.

Tony: Gibbs and Hollis Mann. Both in the director's office. You know what this means.
Bishop: That she's helping with our case?
Tony: Think bigger picture, Bishop. You know how "on edge" Gibbs has been lately?
Bishop: Well yeah, since Diane's death. He's had a lot on his mind.
Tony: Exactly. And he's not going to talk to us about his feelings and emotions. But Hollis Mann - she speaks his monosyllabic language. She's our Gibbs-whisperer.

Gibbs: Where is Hollis Mann?
Bishop: Uh, I think she went back to the DoD.
Gibbs: You think? What do you mean, you think?
Tony: We've been at this all night. We're all a little tired. Why don't we take a break, get some air.
Gibbs: No, there is no break. There's no breaks until this case breaks.
Tony: Never get personally involved in a case. You're breaking rule number 10 boss.
Gibbs: You're damned right I am DiNozzo. You have a problem with that?

Tony: Mat. Missing a "t" there buddy. Like "doormat"?
Mat: I dropped the second "t" years ago. Life's not about conforming to society's phallic-centric norms. Homemade gluten-free cinammon scones?
Bishop: Oooh.
Tony: No! Are you nuts? Never take cookies or movie advice from a hipster.

Spoiler alert, Heisenberg. It doesn't end well for you.

Tony: Hey. You haven't said a word to me since we left the office.
McGee: I've been trying to figure out what you're up to.
Tony: Me?
McGee: Yeah. You've been acting so, you know, nice. You haven't abused me in days.
Tony: If you would like me to abuse you, I will abuse you.

McGee: You're seeing someone.
Tony: Huh. I wish.
McGee: Oh please, come on. Dog lady was hitting on you like crazy, she's super cute and...
Tony: Twenty-two years old.
McGee: Since when has that ever stopped you?

Zoe: I'm up here to return something that you left at my place when you rushed out this morning.
Tony: Mmm. Yeah. Well I was a little light-headed. What did I leave?
Zoe: These. *hands him a set of handcuffs*
Tony: Oh boy. You found the key. I had you locked up pretty good.
Zoe: Yeah. You did. Um, are we keeping us a secret?
Tony: Yeah. Uh, listen. This place is a henhouse. It practically runs on gossip and I do not want to be topic number one. And we're doing pretty good in this relationship, right?
Zoe: Right.
Tony: I don't want to spoil it.
Zoe: Okay.
Tony: Okay. Yeesh. You're very dangerous.

Zoe: Relax, Spider. They know about us.
Tony: Who knows?
Everyone: We all know.
Gibbs: It's about time. Geeze.
Tony: How did you find out?
McGee: We're trained investigators, my friend.
Zoe: And in honor of us coming out, Tony is going to buy everyone drinks.
Tony: I am?
Zoe: Yeah. You are. C'mon. Get your coat.
Tony: Yeah, boss.

Palmer: Gibbs is going for a checkup. And his doctor told him to avoid caffeine for seventy-two hours.
Bishop: That seems...unwise.
Tony: That could kill him.
Palmer: Or worse! The guy's scary enough when he's properly medicated. I can't imagine what it'd be like with caffeine withdrawal. I can only imagine someone taking King Kong's bananas. I'm not going to turn around.
Gibbs: Good idea.

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.