Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo Quotes
Bishop: You don't have the change the subject. I'm not the sex police.
Tony: Kind of you are.
Bishop: Um, hello? I'm married. I have more sex than the two of you combined.
Tony: From what I hear that's not how that works.
SecNav: Director Vance, Special Agent Gibbs and DiNozzo, I'd like you to meet FBI Special Agent Pendergast. She will be your partner for the duration of this case.
Pendergast: Pleased to meet you.
Tony: Ah. Okay.
Pendergast: Call me Leia
Tony: Like the Princess.
Pendergast: I hate Star Wars.
Tony: Nobody hates Star Wars.
Pendergast: You do when your name is Leia, Agent DiNozzo
Tony: Am I updating the FBI?
Gibbs: No, no not yet.
Tony: Got it. And if Leia asks?
Gibbs: Geeze, DiNozzo. Make something up. She's your girlfriend.
Tony: Why - did she say something? Did she mention me by name?
You know what Tony is spelled backwards? Y not? Think about it
McGee: Gibbs would never leave you out of the loop on something like this.
Tony: He didn't.
Bishop: You knew? So why bother fighting with her?
Tony: She fights back. I have a type.
Tony: If you think about it, science is amazing. I mean video phone sex. You and Jake ever---
Bishop: Wow. You have no boundaries.
Tony: Come on, I'm messing with you.
Bishop: Did you miss the sexual harassment seminar?
Tony: Every year.
Tony: Did he really just say "sit tight"?
Vance: No one's sitting tight. Let's move.
Vance: I'd go with the cat.
Abby: Yes, most of us would, but WMD.
Abby: What would McGee do?
Tony: That's two Ws, Abs.
Man I wish I could have seen Rivera's face when Gibbs laid the smack down. You think he had a little chin quiver going on? I love a good bad guy chin quiver.
Bishop: When my grandma died, it helped me just to talk about her. Maybe you guys could tell me what Jackson was like.
Abby: He gave the best hugs.
McGee: He was the only one that could the Gibbs stare at Gibbs.
Tony: With those icy blue eyes. He gave me the sweater off his back once. White. Two functional pockets. Very soft.
Vance: Put it away.
Tony: Oh. Excuse me, sir. I'll be right back in. I was just going to call---
Vance: I know what you're doing Agent DiNozzo and I said stop.
Tony: With all due respect sir, I think Gibbs would want the update.
Vance: You brief him, he'll be back at his desk before lunch.
Tony: That's his call.
Vance: No, it's my call. Gibbs needs time. It's my job to make sure he takes it.
Tony: Anyone else I would agree sir, but Leroy Jethro Gibbs?
Vance: Can you handle point on this or not?
Tony: Of course I can.
Vance: Good. Then inform your team, Agent DiNozzo. Gibbs stays where he is. No contact. Are we clear?
Tony: Clear as a bell, sir.