Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo Quotes
McGee: Abby, this email came through two minutes ago.
Tony: Two minutes is two years in Abby time. You know that.
Vance: Any questions?
Tony: Just one. Why?
Admiral Kendall: I've been asking myself that for years. Amanda was valedictorian in high school. Straight A's in college. Georgetown. And then she suddenly flunked out. She spent the last two years wasting her life jet-setting across Europe with a group of international trust fund brats, partying in every capital in the continent.
Tony: Well maybe she just needed to find herself, sir.
Admiral Kendall: Well now it's gone too far.
McGee: What do you get if you kick a dog? Trip to Hawaii?
Tony: Death by Abby.
Tony: Oui, oui, monsieur. Je suis very special Agent DiNozzo.
Ducky: The French do see arrogance as a virtue. So you'll be welcome there. But remember: in France, only tip 6%.
Tony: Are you flirting with me at a crime scene, Inspector?
Inspector Cheblis: No. Maybe, I don't know. Does it matter?
Tony: Your timing could be better.
Inspector: Maybe you're only uncomfortable because you're not used to being a witness.
Tony: And you're welcome, by the way.
Amanda: For what?
Tony: For saving your bony ass, Princess Leia.
Tony: You know what I think? I think you're not some brain-dead little party girl. I think that all of this is an act. And I think you are some kind of spy, working for Amir and the Iranian government. Am I crazy?
Amanda: Half crazy, Tony. I am a spy. But Amir works for me, and I work for the same people you do.
McGee: I'm not spending the night out here, Tony. I'm cold and I'm starving.
Tony: I'd say stop by the car, there's a slice of pizza left but we can't blow your cover, man.
McGee: I've been out here for hours and I've gotten nowhere. No one's seen him for days. They think he moved on.
Tony: Don't give up. Boy it's pretty toasty in this car.
Tony: How long?
McGee: Just this once? Okay it's been the whole time. We've been working late. I was weak.
Tony: I don't even know who you are anymore.
McGee: Wait, please, I have another one. Here. Take it. It's yours.
Tony: You can't buy me with your pepperoni. I want steak. Creamed spinach. French fries.
Bishop: Can I get in on this?
McGee: Yes. Absolutely. Steaks all around, my treat. Let's go.
Samson: I only ran to keep up with appearances. The fake punches were a great touch though.
Tony: Those were real punches.
Samson: That's funny. I like you.
Delilah: With this case, he thinks I'm trying to lose my job but I'm not. It's the opposite. I'm trying to show that I can do more, to move up.
Tony: I can understand that.
Delilah: Because there's this senior analyst opening in Dubai.
Tony: Dubai is not here.
Delilah: I know. Which leads me to another thing that I need to tell Tim.
Jones: If I'd know you were coming I would have stayed and baked cookies.
Tony: Hey. I have to ask.
Jones: Brisco kept me so high I barely remember crawling out of that place on my hands and knees. I found a gun that he left behind and I hid in a storm drain across the street until the drugs got out of my system. Agent DiNozzo, if I was in on this, why would I risk coming back for Melody?