McGee: I'm not spending the night out here, Tony. I'm cold and I'm starving.
Tony: I'd say stop by the car, there's a slice of pizza left but we can't blow your cover, man.
McGee: I've been out here for hours and I've gotten nowhere. No one's seen him for days. They think he moved on.
Tony: Don't give up. Boy it's pretty toasty in this car.

Tony: How long?
McGee: Just this once? Okay it's been the whole time. We've been working late. I was weak.
Tony: I don't even know who you are anymore.
McGee: Wait, please, I have another one. Here. Take it. It's yours.
Tony: You can't buy me with your pepperoni. I want steak. Creamed spinach. French fries.
Bishop: Can I get in on this?
McGee: Yes. Absolutely. Steaks all around, my treat. Let's go.

Samson: I only ran to keep up with appearances. The fake punches were a great touch though.
Tony: Those were real punches.
Samson: That's funny. I like you.

Delilah: With this case, he thinks I'm trying to lose my job but I'm not. It's the opposite. I'm trying to show that I can do more, to move up.
Tony: I can understand that.
Delilah: Because there's this senior analyst opening in Dubai.
Tony: Dubai is not here.
Delilah: I know. Which leads me to another thing that I need to tell Tim.

Jones: If I'd know you were coming I would have stayed and baked cookies.
Tony: Hey. I have to ask.
Jones: Brisco kept me so high I barely remember crawling out of that place on my hands and knees. I found a gun that he left behind and I hid in a storm drain across the street until the drugs got out of my system. Agent DiNozzo, if I was in on this, why would I risk coming back for Melody?

McGee: It's a voodoo doll that looks just like you, right down to the insincere grin. What's the note say?
Tony: Little Tony will bring you good luck and happiness. That's not funny. There's nothing funny about voodoo, ever since I saw "Live and Let Die" when I was a kid.
McGee: It's a doll. It's a stuffed toy.
Tony: So was Chucky.

Gibbs: Anything I can do?
Bishop: Uh, it's pretty self-explanatory, really.
Gibbs: Did you check to see if that little gizmo there is attached to that other giddy-bop?
Bishop: Mmm. Not yet. You think that'll do it?
Gibbs: If you spit on it. Sometimes that works.
Bishop: All right.
Tony: Oh, come on!

Bishop: I don't get drunk.
Tony: I'm sorry. I didn't understand what you said.
Bishop: It's physically impossible for me. I tried in college. Can't. Ask my husband.
Tony: There are a lot of things I want to ask your husband.

Gibbs: How's your love life, DiNozzo?
Tony: Huh?
Gibbs: You still seeing the secretary?
McGee: He means Andrea.
Bishop: Andrea. Hmm. Who's Andrea?
Tony: Andrea. Oh yeah. Yeah. She's uh, I mean, it's kind of on an as-needed basis.
Pride: Friends with benefits?
Gibbs: Yeah well those aren't benefits like dental insurance.

Tony: He just pulled the "this is my wedding gift to him" card.
McGee: Well that's a very nice one.
Tony: I guess it beats the steak knives I was going to re-gift him.

Tony: Such a shame. Vintage 62 Telecaster.
Gibbs: Yeah. Real tragedy.
Tony: Yeah, cause--the dead people are a shame too. It's just....oh look, it's McGee!

Bishop: He's not our guy.
Tony: We should still arrest him for that hair-do.
Bishop: Hey, what have you got against mullets?

NCIS Quotes

Abby: Have the bad things been outweighing the good things all these years and I just ever noticed?
McGee: What do you mean?
Abby: All I ever wanted was to help people with the truth. And I've done that, but then bad still won sometimes. And I just want to file it away, like it never happened so I can go back to being happy.
McGee: There's nothing wrong with that.
Abby: Yes there is McGee because sometimes the Cutwrights and the Dunns, they just keep fighting no matter what the truth is. And sometimes Ricki never gets to see her grandpa again. If the bad outweighs the good then that means that I'm not enough.
McGee: Abby listen to me...
Abby: And if I'm not enough, McGee, then why even try?

I bet she's a panther in the sack!

Tony