Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo Quotes
Tony: So here's what I'm thinking. You jump on a later plan, and we all go out and have a little family dinner.
Tony Sr.: I love you, Tony. I love you.
- Permalink: Reconciliation
Delilah: Since you're all here, I would like to thank you for taking out that evil coward bastard Benham Parsa.
Tony: You know, that was actually the name on the death certificate?
- Permalink: You know, that was actually the name on the death certificate?
Tony: Having flashbacks to my childhood. Reminds me of Sunday dinners with dad. Stepmoms two and four.
McGee: What should we do?
Tony: Same thing I did as a kid. Keep your head down, wait to be excused, you go to your room and play with yourself.
Bishop: How long did it take you to figure him out?
Tony: Gibbs? Any day now. You'll pick up a few cues here and there, but don't expect an answer key.
Tony: C'mon McGee. Lean on me.
McGee: No, thank you Tony.
Tony: Sometimes it helps to have somebody to talk to, and believe it or not I can be a good listener.
Bishop: Seriously? How'd you get that?
Tony: Well, it's like Gorillas in the Midst. You'll get to understand his grunts.
Martinez: Bishop! You didn't tell me Robert Redford was in the building.
Tony: Come on. I rarely get the Redford. You could be my Debra Winger, legal eagle.
Martinez: I love her.
- Permalink: I love her.
Bishop: If you could send those reports, that'd be great.
Tony: Reports would be good. And keep us in the loop on anything else.
Martinez: Sure thing, Di-knows-it-all. Sure thing.
- Permalink: Sure thing, Di-knows-it-all. Sure thing.
Is she single? No. That's a bad idea. I mean, she reminds me of someone annoying. I just can't figure out who it is.
Tony: Tim butt-dialed me.
McGee: Well it doesn't mean you have to listen.
Tony: Oh yes it does. I find you compelling, Tim.
- Permalink: Oh yes it does. I find you compelling, Tim.
Bishop: Coyne was seeing Petty Officer 1st Class Patrice Gates.
Tony: They bonded over a shared love for kettle corn and home improvement shows. He snuck into her quarters on a nightly basis and she flew his drone.
Bishop: We still have a dead petty officer and a missing drone. Shouldn't we be, you know, investigating?
Tony: This is our process, Bishop. You have your earbuds and chess metaphors, we have this. Don't knock it.
McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.
- Permalink: Abby's highly-specific rules for dating
McGee: You know something I don't? Working tonight and tomorrow night?
Tony: No, Tim. It's just that Zoe's parents are in town and they want to have dinner. I'm not ready for that.
Abby: So you deceived her.
Tony: I was put on the spot. I was not prepared.
McGee: Whoa. Hey. What are you afraid of?
Tony: I don't know.
Abby: They're probably really nice.
Tony: I'm sure they are. I've just never had dinner with the parents of a woman I'm seriously involved with.
McGee: That's not true. What about Jon Benois?
Tony: No, technically that wasn't me because I was undercover as Tony DiNardo, professor of film studies. I wasn't myself back then. Meeting the parents for dinner could trigger a whole chain of events.
Abby: It's just dinner, Tony.
Tony: You have dinner yet with Ranger Burt's parents? I didn't think so. Then put down the gavel, take off the robe and stop judging, both of you.
- Permalink: Tony doesn't want to meet Zoe's parents.