(After Krusty announces that he's searching for a new Krusketeer)
Bart: I am so gonna try out for that!
Milhouse: Me too! But I hope you get it.
Bart: No, I hope you get it.
Milhouse: Well, I really hope you get it.
Bart: Yeah, I hope I get it too. Later!
(Bart leaves)
Milhouse: (in awe) For a second there, he hoped I got it.

Marge: (To Bart) Say something comforting.
Bart: Okay, comforting, comforting. Uh, Dad? Whenever I would hang out with Grandma she would always ask me about you and I'd say, "You suck." And she would say, "You don't suck that bad."
Homer: She said I didn't suck?
Bart: That bad.
Homer: That bad. Wow.
Bart: Yeah.

Bart: (recording a voice for his stuffed hippo) Bart is awesome.
Stuffed Hippo: Bart is awesome.
Bart: This guy could put Milhouse out of business!

Marge: Thank God they're not jeering at us anymore.
Homer: I know. (pause) Kinda miss it.
Bart: I know! We'll be in another movie. And this time we'll act really bad!
Marge: No more Simpsons movies! One was plenty.

Mom, they're gonna kill Lou and make him into food and fringe vests for gay cowboys!

Sorry, Lise. I can't be a vegetarian. I love the taste of death.

(Bart introduces himself to Mary.)
Bart: I'm Bart. This is my calf, Lulubelle.
Mary: Uh, you know that's a boy, right?
Bart: Oh, I thought she was peein' out of her nipple.

Bart: (to Mary) I didn't know Cletus was your dad!
Cletus: She had a regular city birth, in a gas station.

(to Lou) I don't care how much of a pumped-up freak you are. I still love you. The way Barry Bonds' kids probably still love him.

Dad was Colonel Homer and he wore that awesome suit and Lurleen wanted to bunk his brains out! But I forget how Mom felt about it.
(Marge grinds her teeth angrily)

Homer: Just sit still in my lap.
Bart: What lap?
Lisa: All I see is a gut with knees.
Homer: Why, you little!

(Homer and Lisa are excited about the latest Angelica Button book.)
Lisa: The last book in the series goes on sale at midnight and we're gonna go stand in line.
Bart: Wait in line for a book?! You tell 'em Bart says hey.
Homer: Come on, boy. All the nerds are doing it.
Bart: I'm not a nerd. I'm a jock who's too cool for sports.

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart