Bart Simpson Quotes (Page 11)
Season 20, Episode 8: "The Burns and the Bees"
Jimbo: Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to dump that bees' nest on those second grade babies.
Bart: Why would I want to?
Jimbo: Because I said "I dare you." Kearney, can you read it back?
Kearney: (reading) "Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to dump that bees' nest on those second-grade babies. Bart: Why would I want to? Jimbo: Because I said 'I dare you.' Kearney, can you read it back? Kearney, reading: Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to--"
Jimbo: The point is, Simpson, a dare has been placed on your nards.
Bart: My nards accept.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
(Lisa's bees are swarming around the breakfast table)
Bart: Mom, maybe you shouldn't have put so much syrup on the pancakes.
Homer: The secret is not to swallow the stingers. (takes big bite of pancakes with bees on them, and spits stingers out into a glass)
Lisa: Dad, don't eat the bees!
Homer: They're just drones, Lisa, they only live for, like, five minutes anyway! And they only have haploid cells, not diploid like me and Bart!
Bart: Yeah! (high-fives Homer)
• Rating: Unrated
Season 20, Episode 7: "Mypods and Boomsticks"
Marge: Okay, remember our deal: Everyone gets to return one Christmas present with no hurt feelings. (holds up calendar with "From Bart" sticker) I'm returning this kitten calendar.
Lisa: (holds up identical calendar) Um, I'm also returning this kitten calendar.
Homer: Kitten calendar.
(Maggie holds up kitten calendar)
Bart: Hey, those are 15-month calendars! That gives you three extra kittens.
(The family stares at him blankly. He takes back the calendars)
Bart: That's the last time I get you guys a Christmas present at the last minute. (looks at back of calendar) Man, those are ugly kittens.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 20, Episode 5: "Dangerous Curves"
Bart: A log cabin? What am I, Davy Crockett? Also, who's Davy Crockett?
• Rating: Unrated
(Bart enjoys his Cereal Killer video game)
Bart: I'm cuckoo for killing stuff!
• Rating: Unrated
(Marge and Homer are kissing in the back of the peddle car)
Bart: Knock it off back there!
Homer: But we're married!
Bart: Ok, but keep it PG.
Homer: How about R?
Bart: PG-13.
Homer: Woohoo! Adult situations!
(Marge and Homer continue kissing)
• Rating: Unrated
Season 20, Episode 3: "Double, Double, Boy in Trouble"
Homer: You just cost me $200,000!
Bart: I thought it was 50.
Homer: I was gonna bet it on the dogs!
• Rating: Unrated
(Bart marvels at the things in Simon's bedroom.)
Bart: Wow, cool poster of Joe Montana.
Joe Montana: (steps out of the wall) It's not a poster.
(Bart screams)
Joe Montana: I'm the real deal. Every day I stand here the family donates a million dollars to Notre Dame. Did you know the words "Notre Dame" are French, but the team is the Fighting Irish? That's the kind of thing I think about in here.
Bart: Back in the poster, gabby.
Joe Montana: Yes, sir.
• Rating: Unrated
Bart: Oh my, God. Simon set me up. And all this time I thought he wanted the life of a stranger he met in the bathroom.
• Rating: Unrated
Milhouse: Hey, Bart. I think I have a crush on your new sister.
Bart: You had a crush on my old sister.
Milhouse: Yeah, but that wasn't going to happen.
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 678
