The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXBart Simpson Quotes
Bart: It's my job to be repetitive. My job. My job. Repetitiveness is my job! I am going to go out there tonight and give the best performance of my life.
Marge: The best performance of your life?
Bart: The best performance of my life.
Bart: (after his 15th minute of fame is up) What happened?
Krusty: Oh, don't worry about that. You're just finished, that's all.
Lisa: If I ever become famous, I want it to be for something worthwhile, not because of some obnoxious fad.
Bart: Obnoxious fad?
Homer: Aw, don't worry, son. You know, they said the same thing about Urkel--that little snot boy! I'd like to smash that kid!
Damn TV, you've ruined my imagination, just like you've ruined my ability to...uh...
I didn't do it!
Bart: (Whistling Simpsons' Theme)
Marge: Bart, I've asked you not to whistle that annoying tune.
Bart: (Saluting and speaking German) Ja wohl, mein mamadant!
Bart: (while Lisa's daydreaming) Come back, Lis! Come back!
Lisa: Why? I'm so much happier here
Lisa: And now you can go back to just being you, instead of a one-dimensional character with a silly catch phrase.
Homer: (slips as he leans on his elbow and breaks a lamp) D'oh!
Bart: Ay, caramba!
Marge: (Grumbling) Mmmmmmmm!
Maggie: (pacifier sucking noise)
Ned Flanders: Hidely-ho!
Barney: (Belches)
Nelson: HA, HAAAH!
Mr. Burns: Ex-cellent!
(Long pause, then everyone stares at Lisa)
Lisa: If anyone wants me, I'll be in my room.
Homer: What kind of catch phrase is that?
Bart: The burglar even took my stamp collection!
Lisa: You! Had a stamp collection!? (everybody laughs *phone rings*)
Nelson: Stamp collection!? Haha!
Marge: I don't think the guns are a good idea!
Homer: Marge! We're responsible adults a--
(Gun shot)
Moe: Whoops!
Homer: And if a group of responsible adults can't handle firearms in a responsible way--
(Gun shot)
Captain McCallister: Sorry!
(gun shot)
Principal Skinner: Uh oh!
(Gun shot)
Moe: Me again...
(Gun shot)
Bart: Sorry.
Homer: (reading the paper) "Asleep at the switch"! I wasn't asleep, I was drunk!
Bart: I believe you, dad.
Lisa: Dad, you shouldn't wear glasses that weren't prescribed for you.
Homer: Lisa, just because you're ten feet tall doesn't mean you can tell me what to do.
Bart: I'm Bart.
Lisa: Gimme those!
