The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXBart Simpson Quotes
I just don't want to be here, Dad. Besides, I started a fire this morning that I really should keep an eye on.
Bart: (reading cue cards) Hello, Mr... Kurns. I bad want... money now. Me sick.
Homer: Ooh, he card reads good.
I'm tired. I'm hungry. Can't we just get a new house?
Homer: Well, these bills will have to paid out of your allowance.
Bart: You'd have to raise my allowance to about a $1000 a week.
Homer: Then that's what I'll do, smart guy.
Bart: (to Lisa) Uh, it's hard for us to leave when you're standing there.
Homer: Push her down, son.
Bart: KBBL is going to give me something stupid!
KBBL DJ: Well, hot dog! We have a wiener!
Lisa: Don't worry, Bart. It seems like every week something odd happens to the Simpsons. My advice is to ride it out, make the occasional smart-alec quip, and by next week we'll be back to where we started from, ready for another wacky adventure.
Bart: Ay, caramba!
Lisa: That's the spirit.
Homer: Why am I such a loser? Why?
Bart: Well, your father was a loser, and his father, and his father ... it's genetic, man. D'oh!
It's okay. There's no sugar in Pixie sticks.
Bart: Hey Dad, sell you these for fifty bucks
Homer: Woo hoo! Sold. (Bart takes the money and runs off)
Marge: Those aren't tickets to the game, Homer.
Homer: What do you mean? It says right here: "Free wig with every purchase of large wig. Downtown Wig Center". Why you little
Lisa: Dad and Ned Flanders friends? Hah! What's next? A's on Bart's report card?
(She, Marge and Bart laugh together)
Bart: (Stops laughing) Hey!
(The family watches Homer's launch on TV.)
Bart: Go, Dad, go!
Lisa: How doth the hero, strong and brave, a celestial path to the heavens paved!
(The family stares at her.)
Lisa: Go, Dad, go.
