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Family-guy

First I'm gonna stare at this brown paper bag that I'm pretty sure has food in it

Stewie: I think a lot of people were looking at me like I was really attractive which makes me think I'm going to grow up to be really good looking.
Brian: What part of that statement is supposed to lure me into a conversation?
Stewie: I talk to you about wet tennis balls!

Why are you wearing Han's clothes? Seriously, watch the actual movie. Lando is wearing Han's clothes in this scene. It's really weird.

Chewbacca/Brian

Princess Leia/Lois: There's something out there!
Han Solo/Peter: Where?
Princess Leia/Lois: Out there in the cave!
Han Solo/Peter: Ha! Crazy women always hearing thngs.
Chewbacca/Brian: There's something out there!
Han Solo/Peter: Let's go check it out.

Brian: I don't like strawberry yogurt.
Stewie: Picky for someone who eats from a plastic bowl from the floor every day.

Brian: It's by Charles Dickens.
Stewie: Giggity.

Brian: Try what? I practically french kissed your butt.
Stewie: Yeah there was no practically about it.

Stewie: Got some dessert for you.
Brian: You got to be kidding me.
Stewie: Come on, it's just throw up. You like throw up.
Brian: I do. I do like throw up.

Brian: You invented a time machine, but you can't get us out of a safe?
Stewie: Yeah, that's science. I'm not Houdini.

Brian: Actually it's called Brian and Stewie.
Stewie: Really? Shouldn't it be person before animal, like Turner & Hooch?
Brian: I don't think that movie is a good example... of anything.

Brian: Don't you think it's too soon for a play about Terri Schiavo?
Chris: Or too late?

Julie: I'm not a lesbian.
Stewie [as Karina]: I'm not either.
Brian: What are you exactly?

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 324 in total

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

Boy, fat sex is the best sex we've ever had! Last night there were so many boobs I didn't know who's boobs I was grabbin'!

Peter
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