Brian Griffin Quotes
Stewie: Well, I'm off to the farmer's market. I've got to pick up some plutonium for a return pad, in case I decide to make another universe later.
Brian: Plutonium? At the farmer's market?
Stewie: Yep, I'm only using organic plutonium now. Think locally; buy organically.
Stewie: Hey slut, get me out of this.
Does Jillian know you're half-Polish, Mr. Quagleczech?
Brian: So how did you two meet?
Jillian: Quagmire showed up at my door and said he was the federal boob inspector! And I was going to tell him to go away, but he had a warrant!
Quagmire: It was a snickers wrapper, Brian. I held up a Snickers wrapper.
You just think you know everything don't you? You're just like a black woman in hindsight.
Call me the "Paw." That's what I go by now.
Brian: Good morning everyone!
Lois: Ah crap, he's in love again.
Brian: Uh no... uh I'm going to meet Jenny's cats.
Peter: What are you talking about? You hate cats.
Brian (gritting his teeth): I'm... going... to... meet... her cats...
Lois, I only ask this because of the dire situation I'm in. But can I hump your legs for 15 uninterrupted seconds?
Meg, you're so beautiful on the inside... but it's important that you know your limitations.
Brian: Ah, it's a period joke!
Peter: Ah, it's a period period joke!
Stewie: Brian, why does the North Pole have black teenagers?
Brian: Um, uh, from Katrina?
Brian: Lauren just finished a fascinating doctoral thesis on sub-orbital propulsion mechanisms that NASA is using for the next generation of space shuttles.
Chris and Meg: Oooohhhhhh... Aaaaahhhh!
Peter: So, Lauren, um, whenever I'm watchin' your show... you give me wood. Where do we go from here?