Her fists are so dangerous, she's not allowed to be a lesbian.

That jerk dog from our patio door somehow got inside a hubcap.

Pink Panther: Hey first day being pink?
Brian: Yeah.
Pink Panther: Welcome to hell.

Stewie: It's True Blood.
Brian: No one knows what that is.
Stewie: Rich, gay people do.

Stewie: How do you not know that your reflection in the patio door isn't another dog?
Brian: Hey, that guy is a dick.

Dear God, who definitely exists, we your people who have been on this planet for 6,000 years and not a second more want to thank you for this bounty and keeping congress primarily white through Christ, our Lord.

Oh no! It's a multi racial TV gang, including white guys.

First I'm gonna stare at this brown paper bag that I'm pretty sure has food in it

Stewie: I think a lot of people were looking at me like I was really attractive which makes me think I'm going to grow up to be really good looking.
Brian: What part of that statement is supposed to lure me into a conversation?
Stewie: I talk to you about wet tennis balls!

Why are you wearing Han's clothes? Seriously, watch the actual movie. Lando is wearing Han's clothes in this scene. It's really weird.

Chewbacca/Brian

Princess Leia/Lois: There's something out there!
Han Solo/Peter: Where?
Princess Leia/Lois: Out there in the cave!
Han Solo/Peter: Ha! Crazy women always hearing thngs.
Chewbacca/Brian: There's something out there!
Han Solo/Peter: Let's go check it out.

Brian: I don't like strawberry yogurt.
Stewie: Picky for someone who eats from a plastic bowl from the floor every day.

Family Guy Quotes

Hey, its Thanksgiving. Shouldn't you be in Detroit losing a football game right about now.

Brian

Brian: What's on his arms?
Stewie: Those are waterwings. He was terrified of the water.