Brian Griffin Quotes
Julie: I'm not a lesbian.
Stewie [as Karina]: I'm not either.
Brian: What are you exactly?
- Permalink: I'm not a lesbian. I'm not either. What are you exactly?
Stewie: I think I'm in love with Julie. Whenever I talk to her, it makes my bandaid start to peel off.
Brian: What are you talking about?
Stewie: I'm talking about the thing. I gotta hide it for the cameras. Instead of tucking, I just push it in like a button and put a bandaid over it.
Brian: What kind of bandaid?
Stewie: A big one, big giant one. Nah, just one of those dots you put on a shot.
- Permalink: I think I'm in love with Julie. Whenever I talk to her, it make...
Dylan: Knock Knock?
Brian: Who's there?
Dylan: You're there.
Brian: I'll always be there, Dylan.
- Permalink: Knock Knock? Who's there? You're there. I'll always be the...
Brian: Don't worry, I got it under control Lois. I'm monitoring Dylan from here on Stewie's baby monitor.
(conversation is heard over the monitor)
Stewie: Hey Dylan? Hey, come on in here for a sec.
Dylan: Stewie, why are you nude?
Stewie: Oh just a little something I do once a week around here called a "naked tea party." Got my teacup here, now all I need is a tea bag. That something that interests you my friend?
Dylan: You're weird.
Stewie: Yeah, and you're attractive. Now take your f***ing pants off!
Dylan: I'm outta here.
Stewie: Huh, did you see that Rupert? "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Seconds" starring Stewie Griffin huh? Gee whiz.
- Permalink: Don't worry, I got it under control Lois. I'm monitoring Dylan f...
Stewie: Say Brian, now that I think about it, how can you possibly have a thirteen year old son, when you yourself are only seven?
Brian: Well, those are dog years.
Stewie: That doesn't make any sense.
Brian: You know what Stewie, If you don't like it, go on the internet and complain.
- Permalink: Say Brian, now that I think about it, how can you possibly have ...
Brian: Gosh, this is a... lovely home Tracy.
Stewie: That's so weird. It smells like there's a cat, but I bet there's no cat.
- Permalink: Gosh, this is a... lovely home Tracy. That's so weird. It smel...
Stewie: You need more than that, you need an act. Listen, I'll be your assistant, and we'll put on a whole big show.Brian: Really?Stewie: Yeah, we'll do all the great tricks. You can even split me in half.Brian: What?Stewie: Saw me in half.
- Permalink: Saw me in half.
Brian; So, Dylan... shouldn't you be in school?
Dylan: I dunno.
Brian: It's Wednesday.
Dylan: Up yours!
Stewie: Nice kid.
- Permalink: Brian; So, Dylan... shouldn't you be in school? I dunno. It'...
Peter: You can't even hang on to a girlfriend for more than a couple of months.
Brian: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Peter: Oh... you're a friggin' train wreck with that crap, Brian. You couldn't even get Jillian to take you back, and she was dumber than Lou Ferrigno.
- Permalink: You can't even hang on to a girlfriend for more than a couple of...