Evelyn Harper Quotes
Season 9, Episode 6: "Those Fancy Japanese Toilets"
Evelyn: For god sake's walden, I'm old enough to be your mother. Assuming a teenage pregnancy, of course.
• Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Walden: Can we get one of those fancy Japanese toilets that sprays water and sprays your tooshie.
Evelyn: With your money you can find an actual Japanese person to do it
Walden: See what you can find.
• Rating: 1.0 / 5.0
Evelyn: You really should get that boy a unicycle and bowling pins.
• Rating: 2.0 / 5.0
Season 8, Episode 15: "Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak"
Evelyn: You're my son. I should at least pretend I believe in you.
Alan: Thank you.
Evelyn: I'm putting "American Cancer Society" on the memo line. Just ignore that.
• Rating: Unrated
Alan: Is that for luck?
Evelyn: No, just kissing it goodbye.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 8, Episode 8: "Springtime on a Stick"
Evelyn: I'll be right back,
Alan: Where are you going?
Evelyn: To put on panties.
• Rating: Unrated
Evelyn: It's all right, I never expect much of you. And you never disappoint me.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Evelyn: What is wrong with him (Jake)?
Alan: Nothing organic. We've had him checked.
• Rating: Unrated
Evelyn: You go out with a girl and break up with her hoo-hah can develop a 5'o clock shadow.
Alan: Well, in his defense mom, he's usually paying by the hour.
• Rating: Unrated
Evelyn: If you excuse me, I'm going to go drown my sorrows in alcohol.
Charlie: If you're not committed to alcohol, there's a whole big ocean out there.
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 84
