I'm Buck Naked!

You see the way he talks to me?

</i> George

How's this for criticism? Umyou stink. How do you like that criticism?

Divorce is very difficult, especially on the kids. Of course, I'm the result of my parents having stayed together, so you never know.

Jerry: You know primavera is Italian for spring.
George: No!

Jerry's whole life revolves around Superman and cereal!

Nobody is sicker than me.

Toasting makes me uncomfortable, but toast I love. Never start the day without a good piece of toast. In fact, let's toast to toast.

(to Jerry) Would it kill you not to be so funny all the time? That's all I'm askin'. This woman thinks I'm very funny and now you're gonna be funny, so what am I gonna be? I'm gonna be a short bald guy with glasses who suddenly doesn't seem so funny.

I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate. I've got it all!

Kramer goes to a Fantasy camp? His whole life is a fantasy camp! People should plunk down $2,000 to live like him for a week. Do nothing, fall ass backwards in the money, mooch food off your neighbors and have sex without dating; now that's a fantasy camp.

I have no funny friends. I'm the funny one. El-Clowno!

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 357 in total

Seinfeld Quotes

George: Why don't they have salsa on the table?
Jerry: What do you need salsa for?
George: Salsa is now the number one condiment in America.
Jerry: You know why? Because people like to say "salsa." "Excuse me, do you have any salsa?" We need more salsa." "Where's the salsa? No salsa?"
George: You know, it must be impossible for a Spanish person to order seltzer and not get salsa. "I wanted seltzer, not salsa!"
Jerry: "Don't you know the difference between seltzer and salsa?! You have the seltzer after the salsa!"

Elaine: (referring to Dr. Reston) He's like a Svenjolly.
Jerry: Svengali.
Elaine: What did I say?
Jerry: Svenjolly.
Elaine: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
Jerry: George?
George: Svenjolly. (licking some peanut butter off his finger)
Elaine: I don't see how I could've said Svenjolly.
Jerry: Well, maybe he's got, like, a cheerful mental hold on you.

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