George Costanza Quotes
George: I didn't know whether to try and keep her from falling, or zip up.
Jerry: What did you do?
George: I zipped up!
Elaine: So, she fell?
George: Yeah. Well, I couldn't run over there the way I was!
- Permalink: I didn't know whether to try and keep her from falling, or zip u...
Jerry: Alright, Costanza. It's just you and me.
George: And then, (smacks the money) there were two.
Elaine: Elaine Benes Kennedy Junior
- Permalink: Alright, Costanza. It's just you and me. And then, there were...
Jerry: What happened?
Elaine: It was, uh, John John.
Jerry and George: Ohhhhh. John John.
- Permalink: What happened? It was, uh, John John. Ohhhhh. John John.
Jerry: (looks out the window, shocked) Oh my God in heaven!
(all three crowd around the window)
Elaine: (gasps) Is that?
Elaine: He's waving
(all three wave back)
- Permalink: Oh my God in heaven! Is that? Kramer?! He's waving
George: I stopped by the house to drop the car off, and I went inside for a few minutes. Nobody was there. They're supposed to be working. My mother had a Glamour magazine; I started leafing through it
(Kramer and Elaine laugh slightly)
George: So, one thing lead to another
Jerry: So, what did she do?
George: First she screams, "George, what are you doing?! My God!"
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Jerry: (after George tells him about the hot nurse who gives sponge baths to the gorgeous patient)
Well, I guess you'll be going back to that hospital.
George: Well Jerry, my mother...
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(after learning that Elaine is out of the "contest")
George: You caved?!
Jerry: It's over?!
George: You're out?!
Jerry: Oh my God, the Queen is dead!
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Jerry: What's the matter?
George: My mother caught me.
Jerry: Caught you? Doing what?
George: You know. (All three give him blank stares) I was alone
Elaine: You mean..?!
George: (Nods) Uh-huh.
Kramer: (laughing) She caught you?
- Permalink: What's the matter? My mother caught me. Caught you? Doing wh...
George: What are you doing tonight?
Jerry: Date with Marla.
George: Oh, the virgin? Any progress there, what's the latest?
Jerry: Well, I've got my troops amassed along the border. I'm just waiting for someone to give me the go-ahead.
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Jerry: I haven't been myself lately. I've been snapping at everybody.
George: Me too. I've been yelling at strangers on the street.
- Permalink: I haven't been myself lately. I've been snapping at everybody. ...
Elaine: Marla and I went out for coffee and afterwards I was crossing the street and he was biking right towards me. So I got out of the way just in time, but then he ran into a parked car. He hit his head and everything went flying.
George: Something happened to the food?!!
- Permalink: Marla and I went out for coffee and afterwards I was crossing th...
George: Hey, what about this? I'm in a car accident. The motorist is uninsured, you with me?
George: My car's totaled. It's all his fault and now, he has absolutely no money. There is no way that he can pay me. So the judge decrees that he becomes my butler.
- Permalink: Hey, what about this? I'm in a car accident. The motorist is uni...
Elaine: (referring to Dr. Reston) He's like a Svenjolly.
Elaine: What did I say?
Elaine: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
George: Svenjolly. (licking some peanut butter off his finger)
Elaine: I don't see how I could've said Svenjolly.
Jerry: Well, maybe he's got, like, a cheerful mental hold on you.
- Permalink: He's like a Svenjolly. Svengali. What did I say? Svenjolly...
I can't get a massage from a man.George
- Permalink: I can't get a massage from a man.