Seinfeld

George Costanza Quotes (Page 9)

Jerry: (looks out the window, shocked) Oh my God in heaven!
(all three crowd around the window)
Elaine: (gasps) Is that?
George: Kramer?!
Elaine: He's waving
(all three wave back)
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: I haven't been myself lately. I've been snapping at everybody.
George: Me too. I've been yelling at strangers on the street.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Let me ask you this: is there any Tampax in your house?
George: Yeah
Jerry: Well, I'll tell you what you got here. You got yourself a girlfriend.
George: Oh no!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Let me ask you something. When's the last time you went skiing?
George: About six years ago.
Jerry: I think you can take the lift ticket off your jacket now.
George: Women like skiers.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: This is your plan?
George: No, no. I'm just thinking.
Jerry: I don't think you are.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: I don't think I could do it. You know, they always remember the first time. I don't want to be remembered. I wanna be forgotten.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Hey, what about this? I'm in a car accident. The motorist is uninsured, you with me?
Jerry: Yeah.
George: My car's totaled. It's all his fault and now, he has absolutely no money. There is no way that he can pay me. So the judge decrees that he becomes my butler.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: Marla and I went out for coffee and afterwards I was crossing the street and he was biking right towards me. So I got out of the way just in time, but then he ran into a parked car. He hit his head and everything went flying.
George: Something happened to the food?!!
 • Rating: Unrated

(George just found out that Susan was fired)
George: This is great! He fired her! This is incredible, he fired her. I'm out, baby! I'm out!
Jerry: Why did he fire her?
George: Because I kissed her in the meeting. Russell found out, he fired her over the phone. Finally, my stupidity pays off!
 • Rating: Unrated

George: She's got a big crush on David Letterman, I mean a big crush. She talks about him all the time. Suppose I go up to David Letterman. He works at NBC, I work at NBC. I explain my situation. He agrees to meet her. They go out. They fall madly in love. And she dumps me for David Letterman!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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