Sundays 10:30 PM on Showtime
Californication

Let's get you home before this low rider turns back into a pumpkin.

Hank: Charlie is that a dildo in your pocket or you just happy to see me?
Charlie: I think I must have been reliving that pee thing, now it's just a shame boner.

Sometimes it's better not to touch your dreams.

Kali: Will you stop calling me a fucking bitch please!
Samurai: Come on Ma, I was just peacocking baby.
Hank: She is a beautiful woman, true dat.
Samurai: What's with the use of all the urban patois man?
Hank: Hey its the ABC's of me baby.

Tyler: What? You don't want a man pound?
Hank: Not really, especially when you put it that way.

Some girls are timid and lack focus, but you, you should be in porn.

I made myself a promise and I kept it! My heart and cock both swell with pride.

Charlie

I don't even know a mother fucker's real name. I just call him Alfred and he snaps right to it.

Samurai

He's like you but awesome.

Karen
Displaying quotes 46 - 54 of 141 in total