Sundays 10:30 PM on Showtime
Californication

Karen: Oh my god, nothing changes! You got off so fucking lucky today and are still behaving like a bratty child.
Hank: Right...thank you for reeling me in. Let's hug it out. Celebrate my good fortune?

Oh never have I been so excited to write a huge check and service the community for twelve days.

Hank: Oh god, pity those poor kids who are never going to forget this image of this big naked man-baby rising up from the water like the creature from the pasty white lagoon.
Charlie: There's no grosser than your mother and father they used to sneak off to do it everywhere. In bathrooms, in utility closets...
Marcy: True, didn't you schlob Hank's knob on a balcony once?

Abby: Oh my god you're so generous and sweet.
Hank: Yeah I know I'm going to make some White Power guy an excellent bitch.

You can't let the priests have all the fun.

Well that happened.

The only thing I'm guilty of is poor judgement.

Get me a strainer, I'll clean it up, I'll make it nice.

Revenge is a dish best served with my dick.

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