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The-simpsons

They know I'm doing a character. Like Stephen Colbert or Newt Gingrich.

Homer: Do you really need all these Kurt Vonnegut novels?
Lisa: "They self-reference each other!"

Bloody harry. he brought back beheading in a big way.

My daughter thinks I'm a ruthless tyrant like Hitler or Prince Harry. Homer

I just like to dress up to eat carrots and smoke.

Homer: How would you like to have future sex?
Marge: Why do you say future this is now?
Homer: I meant a week from tomorrow. That's when the new penis gets here.

Annie: I was so mad at him, I didn't have sex with a clown for five months!
Homer: What about mimes?
Annie: Come on, I'm not made of stone.

Homer: Can you be my dad?
Robert: If your mom was a secretary, there's a good chance I am.

Robert: There ain't enough bourbon in kentucky for you big guy.
Homer: Yeah, the governor wrote me a letter to that effect.

Robert: I have to warn you, account men have no souls.
Homer: Woohoo! No more church!

Homer: It's not illegal to sleep inside a tyrannosaurus head.
Security Guard: Sir, you're inside an allosaurus.
Homer: I demand to speak to my paleontologist.

British Fonzie is right.

Homer: The point of the dinosaurs is: no matter what we do, an asteroid is going to wipe us out. So we should party hard and wreck the place!

Displaying quotes 109 - 120 of 1517 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito.

Homer

I'm married to the sea, and I'm seeing two of the great lakes on the side. I won't say which ones but it's ERIE how SUPERIOR they are.

Sea Captain
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