The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXHomer Simpson Quotes
Bart: It's just a statue.
Marge: It's a statue of the trailblazing founder of our town.
Lisa: It's a symbol of what we can all do if we put our minds to it.
Homer: Just a statue? Is the Statue of Liberty just a statue? Is the Leaning Tower of Pizza just a statue?
Homer: Ooh! Look at this one! "The Hammer of Thor: It will sends your pins to...Val-halla." Lisa?
Lisa: Valhalla is where Vikings go when they die.
Homer: Oh, that's some ball!
But, uh, how can you afford something like this, Ned? I get your mail once in a while, and you make only $27 a week more than I do.
Bart: Hey, Dad, how come we can't get a decent mower, like the Flanders have?
Homer: Just be happy with what what you've got, son. Don't try to keep up with the Flander-es-es.
Bart: Turkey farm?
Lisa: No.
Bart: Skunks?
Lisa: No.
Bart: Slaughterhouse?
Lisa: No.
Marge: What are you doing back there?
Lisa: We're playing, "What's that odor?"
Bart: Dad's feet?
Homer: Bart!
Lisa: You win, Bart.
Homer: Lisa!
Bart: Are we there yet, Dad?
Homer: I'll tell you when we get there. Go back to your smell game.
Bart: Does it have its own satellite dish, sir?
Bob: You can tell your son it has its own satellite. The VanStar One, launched last February, just for this thing, that's all.
Bart: Whoa, man!
Marge: I'm not sure that we can afford--
Homer: Does it have a deep fryer?
Bob: It has four of them--one for each part of the chicken.
Homer: Is that a good siren? Am I approved?
Bob: You ever known a siren to be good? (Chuckles) No, Mr. Simpson, it's not. It's a bad siren. That's the computer in case I went blind, telling me, "Sell the vehicle to this fella, and you're outta business." That's what the siren says.
Homer: Through here, boy. Back to civilization.
Bart: How do you know?
Homer: When you're an experienced woodsman like me, you get a feel for these things. It becomes natural, like a third sense.
Marge [to Bart, Homer and Lisa]: I'm sorry, everybody, but I've only got two cupcakes for the three of you.
Bart: Well, mom, one of us has scarfed down more than enough cupcakes over the past three decades to keep--
Homer: Bart!
You know Marge, getting old is a terrible thing. I think the saddest day of my life was when I realized I could beat my Dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four.
Homer: So, why are you still awake?
Marge: Well, I'm still trying to figure out what's bothering Lisa. I don't know. Bart's such a handful, and Maggie needs attention. But all the while, our little Lisa is becoming a young woman.
Homer: Oh, so that's it. This is some kind of underwear thing.
Bart: In the red trunks, with a record of 48 wins and no losses, the undisputed champ of this house, Battling Bart Simpson! (Whistles and cheers) And in the lavender trunks, with a record of zero wins and 48 defeats--Oh, correction. Humiliating defeats. All of them by knock out--
Homer: Must you do this every time?
Bart: Homer "The Human Punching Bag" Simpson!
