Homer: I'm sorry, Homer Junior. You'll occupy an idealized place in my heart that no one can ever quite fill.
Bart: Therapy, please.
Lisa: Me too.

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Marge: I'm a Schwarzenegger wife!
Homer: But you're also the housekeeper. so it's all good.

Eduardo: Did you hair burn off in a fire that trapped you in a candy factory?
Homer: I wish.

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Marge: I feel kind of melancholy.
Homer: Hmm...melon-collie.

Marge, they knew what they were getting into when their parents sold them to the circus.

Now hop on my cycle, there's nothing to fear. And we shall have candy...and maybe some beer.

Bart: You have some big underpants to fill. I didn't know they made underoos in size 52
Homer: They're called superoos, son, with pictures of the cast of The Expendables.
Bart: More like The Expandables.

I'm not sure man who eats right and doesn't drink can be good in bed.

Oh, I've been listening to this song for three days, and it's only the end of the first verse.

Sorry, Carl, it's WWII all over again. America kicks Iceland's ass.

And I'm 69 because people always laugh when you say "69." Hehe, no one knows why.

Hey those Yelp reviews don't write themselves. Did you know a well-placed one-star could destroy a "Mom and Pop" hardware in nothing flat?

The Simpsons Quotes

Horst: (Sinister) Okay, Mr. Burns, you win. But beware. We Germans aren't all smiles and sunshine.
Mr. Burns: (Sarcastic) Oooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans! (Hiding behind Smithers) Uh oh, the Germans are going to get me!
Horst: Stop it!
Man: Stop, sir.
Mr. Burns: Don't let the Germans come after me. Oh no, the Germans are coming after me.
Man: Please stop the "pretending you are scared" game, please.
Horst: Stop it! Stop it!
Mr. Burns: (Pause) No! They're so big and strong!
Man: Stop it.
Horst: Stop it, Mr. Burns.
Man: Please stop pretending you are scared of us, please, now.
Mr. Burns: Oh, protect me from the Germans! The Germans--
Horst: Burns, Stop it!

(Squishing an ice cream to his forehead) I'm a unitard!

Ralph