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Dr. Hedrick: Group, can you tell me what stage of grief Dr. Cox is going through?
Dr. Cox: You don't wanna see me angry.
J.D.: Nor do you wanna see me angry. (Imagines taking Hedrick's pencil and taking off the eraser with his mouth.) It's awful.
- Permalink: Group, can you tell me what stage of grief Dr. Cox is going thro...
Dr. Cox: WE dont need any of your head shrinking.
J.D.'s narration: "We"! He said "we"! After all these years hes finally made us a team!
J.D.: Yeah, Hedrick! If it was up to us, WE would never even called you. WE can handle death just fine. WE might even be going into private practice together.
Dr. Cox: What!?
J.D.'s narration: Easy! That was not the time to discuss the Dorian-Cox clinic. Much less the relocation to Jacksonville.
- Permalink: WE dont need any of your head shrinking. We! He said we! After...
(To Dr. Cox) Want me to bury you?
- Permalink: Want me to bury you?
He hid them in his pantalones. He loves these apples. He makes apples pie and apples juice with them.
- Permalink: He hid them in his pantalones. He loves these apples. He makes a...
Turk: What's up buddy, you need a ride?
J.D.: Keep moving C Bear.
- Permalink: What's up buddy, you need a ride? Keep moving C Bear.
Turk: Dude, you all right? You were gone for a really long time.
J.D.: You're gonna be an awful father!
- Permalink: Dude, you all right? You were gone for a really long time. You...
Cabbage and Mark: Yes sir.
J.D.: Oh no, Mark. I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to Cabbage.
Mark: But my last name's Cabbage.
J.D.: I know that, but I've nicknamed you "Wolfman" for your keen sense of smell.
J.D.'s narration: And your ridiculously hairy torso.
J.D.: Now, what can I do you for?
Cabbage: Dr D., is the IV supposed to leak like this?
J.D.: Well, yes and no. Mostly no. Really, really all no.
- Permalink: Cabbage! Yes sir. Oh no, Mark. I wasn't talking to you, I wa...
Keith: How come I don't get a nickname?
J.D.: The other's surnames lend themselves to a nickname.
Keith: My last name is "Dudemeister"!
J.D.: What can I do with that? I'm not a magician!
- Permalink: How come I don't get a nickname? The other's surnames lend the...
Those are beautiful antlers.
- Permalink: Those are beautiful antlers.
J.D.: You're late Keith. Which doesn't surprise me, because you're a terrible person.
Keith: Sorry, I was helping with a gunshot victim downstairs.
J.D.: Lies won't get you anywhere, Keith.
Keith: I'm... covered in his blood.
J.D.: That could be anyone's blood.
Carla: Here's the gunshot victim from downstairs.
Gunshot victim: Hey, my blood!
J.D.: That's not your blood.
Gunshot victim: Yes, it is!
J.D.: Quiet time.
- Permalink: You're late Keith. Which doesn't surprise me, because you're a t...
Dr. Cox: I would sooner leave my medical care in the hands of Dr. Acula. (J.D. gets excited) Yes, I read your vampire screenplay and as much as it pains me to say it, I didn't hate it. So here's what you have to do with this Keith: Turn the heat up on his ass and he'll make a mistake, then you'll bounce him the hell out of here.
J.D.: What did you think of the Transylvania dream sequence? Because I wrote it while I was on-call and the next morning and I read it and I was like, "What was I thinking?"
Dr. Cox: Bethany, focus.
- Permalink: Turn the heat up on his ass and he'll make a mistake, then you'l...
I treat each and every one of you like unique individuals, ok? Take Gloria, for example. The woman's 400 years old. She needs to sleep a lot. I work around that schedule. Wolfman's got to be home by daybreak so he does all his work come nightfall. Crazy Barry's not allowed near children. We work around that.
- Permalink: I treat each and every one of you like unique individuals, ok? T...