Popular Linda Zwordling Quotes
Dr. Bhamba: And why do you get to be in charge? As I recall, you were the only one who ran from the octo-chicken.
Linda: Well, it freaked me out when it came down from its web.
Dr. Bhamba: You're weak and have no leadership qualities.
Linda: I can lead. Maybe you're just a crappy follower, did you ever think of that?
Linda: I can't believe the company is treating you like this. Doesn't it make you want to scream or put your fist through a wall or rub your junk on the CEO's chair?
Ted: Yes, yes, and I only use my junk for good, not evil. With great junk comes great responsibility
Linda: Listen to my tone and not my words. We can't just stand here and let them take Ted away from us. He is the shiniest employee we have.
Lem: Did you just say "shiniest"?
Linda: Again, listen to my tone and not my words. We have to do something.
Phil: Linda's tone is right. We can't function without Ted
We're not here because the company needs us. We're here because we need you. You bring out the best in each of us. You take a bunch of barely functional, socially awkward semi-creepy scientists, and one beautifully normal product tester, and make us a team
Linda: I just made three new friends. Maybe I was wrong about the cubicle themes. For the first time since I've been here, I actually feel like I'm part of something.
Ted: Glad to hear it. I have to go to a strip club tomorrow with a bunch of old men.
Linda: Wow. What theme did the company give you?
Veronica: Don't be silly. Let's talk. Would you like some wine?
Linda: I would like a whole bunch of wine, yes
Linda: I don't know why I drink. I always either get laid or fired.
Lem: I have to start drinking. I like those odds
Veronica: I'll take you to breakfast--somewhere where the meals don't end with the word "slam."
Linda: I don't know. I've got a lot of work to do on the Doppler Project.
Veronica: You're with the boss. Relax. Besides, I can give the Doppler Project to Joe.
Linda: Really? Because I do hate the Doppler Project.
Veronica: And I hate Joe. So everybody wins
Veronica: Linda, I feel like you've been wanting to get our relationship back to the way it was.
Linda: What gave you that idea--the fact that you shrunk my cubicle into a hobbit hole?
Veronica: Now let's not get into "who shrunk whose office" or "who canceled whose dental plan
Ted: I'm a little preoccupied. I almost killed a man in the basement.
Linda: Huh. Last week a story like that would've surprised me. So who'd you almost kill? Was it Joe? I hate that guy. He took half my cubicle
Linda: There's a single dads club that meets on the fifth floor every week. Maybe you should check it out.
Ted: Eh, I guess I could go beat up some single dads
Linda: This is a great company, isn't it? Freezing their employees.
Ted: Employee. They're only freezing one. For now
