Popular Linda Zwordling Quotes
Linda: So my boyfriend wants us to move in together.
Veronica: Why would he wants us to move in together?
Linda: No, I mean he wants me to move in with him.
Veronica: Then where am I supposed to live?
Linda: You're sabotaging this conversation, aren't you?
Veronica: Just 'til we get to the meeting.
Veronica: Okay, fellas, nerd it up.
Ted: We've been developing a new search engine, and unlike language based search engines, this face-matching technology uses visual recognition...
Veronica: Less nerd, more English.
Phil: You take an image of a person...
Lem: Or "picture."
Phil: And scan it into a computer...
Lem: Or "magic box."
Linda: I'm not embarrassed to say, this is helping.
Linda: So I'm setting you up with my friend Rebecca. She's beautiful and a veterinarian. so when you meet her, if you start trembling and pee on the floor, she'll be okay with it.
Ted: Well, it is my move.
Linda: Well, have fun, you two. Don't do anything I wouldn't do! (whispers to Rebecca) There's nothing I wouldn't do.
Rebecca: I know. I was your roommate.
Ted: And I can't get enough of the company's love.
Linda: Maybe you and the company should spend a weekend in wine country together, share a couple of bottles one evening, maybe convince it not to wear panties to dinner. [walks away]
Veronica: You should jump on that, Ted, before the crazy outweighs the hot.
Ted: Okay! Everybody's here.
Linda: Okay! Everybody's here.
Ted: I know you're co-leading this, but that doesn't mean just repeating what I say.
Linda: Maybe you're repeating what I say just before I get a chance to say it.
Linda: Whenever I have sex, I have to be alert the next day so I don't make mistakes. I have to be alert during sex so I don't make mistakes. Basically, I always have to be alert.
Ted: Is it possible to make mistakes during a sex, for a woman to make mistakes during sex?
Linda: God, you'd be hard to go out with.
Ted: Hey, I am fantastic to go out with. I'm... I'm thoughtful as a man can be, while still pillaging like a Viking in the bedroom. But I am not getting involved in Veronica's personal life.
Linda: So my boss gets to have all the sex-fun of a relationship, while all the stress of being exhausted trickles down to me? Man, capitalism blows.
Linda: What did you say to Mordor?
Ted: I did not tell him to have sex with Veronica while she's sleeping. Why? What did he do?
Linda: I walked into the supply closet, and he was in there with Ashley from Accounting. And they were not looking for supplies. Unless she uses her ya-ha to store office supplies and he uses his yang-doodle to look for things. That's what my mom calls it.
Oh, don't be that guy who points fingers. No one likes a pointer. Even in the dog world, they're seen as insufferable.
Linda: Relax, Sheila. Don't fight it.
Ted: "Don't fight it?"
Linda: Hindsight is 20-20, Mr. "I never accidentally fondled anyone."
Ted: I don't think the words "don't fight it" have ever been used when someone isn't being sexually harassed.
I don't like other ladies' breasts. Some days I don't even like my own breasts. Although mostly they're awesome.
