Linda: What did you say to Mordor?
Ted: I did not tell him to have sex with Veronica while she's sleeping. Why? What did he do?
Linda: I walked into the supply closet, and he was in there with Ashley from Accounting. And they were not looking for supplies. Unless she uses her ya-ha to store office supplies and he uses his yang-doodle to look for things. That's what my mom calls it.

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Better Off Ted Quotes, Better Off Ted Season 2 Episode 4 Quotes, Ted Crisp Quotes, Linda Zwordling Quotes
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Better Off Ted Season 2 Episode 4 Quotes

This weekend, Mordor and I am going scuba diving. Last weekend we raced cars in the desert and ate a rattlesnake... and a goat that wandered into our camp, and then a light salad.

Veronica

It turns out developing cheese that never spoils is harder than we thought. Right now, it's more of a cheddar-colored fabric that does spoil.

Ted
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