The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Everybody knows you got the idea for the series after an explosion at a crumpet factory knocked you off a double-decker bus. How could that be made-up?

Lisa: They're using pancakes as spoons.
Marge: Ooh let's see what else they do wrong.

Now prepare to take an incredible journey across the room.

Lisa: You're gonna regret the day you were born.
Bart: I already do, it's too close to Christmas.

Aunt Selma is treating a mob boss like an ordinary tax payer!

You're as pure as the ether that puts you to sleep.

Prepare to have everything you knew about milk cans challenged!

Great Raymondo: This is a house of magic.
Lisa: Sounds like most of it is owned by the bank.
Great Raymondo: But the rest of it is magic.

Red Carpet Interviewer: And Lisa, who are you wearing?
Lisa: I believe it's from Lamps Plus.

Marge: (to Homer) We have to take in Mr. Brockman. He wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't dumped coffee on his lap.
Homer: Oh, sure! Put down a simple guy like me who works hard and plays by the rules!
Bart: Dad, you barely go to work at all.
Lisa: And you're constantly flouting the law.
Homer: I'm willing to change my mind and that makes me great.

Homer: Hey suckers, check it out! Marge is taking me to ride dirt bikes at the cemetery.
Lisa: You're going to the dentist too, Dad.
Homer: (Thoughtfully) Why the cemetery? I wondered. But my dreams were too strong.

Lisa: One thing I've always wondered How can Fox News be so conservative when the Fox Network keeps airing raunchy shows? They don't fit together.
(Lisa then proceeds to flips channels between Fox News and Fox Network until Kent Brockman takes the remote control away from her.)
Kent: Fox deliberately runs shows that will earn them huge fines which are then funneled through the F.C.C. straight to the Republican Party. Everybody in the media knows it, but no one has the guts to say it.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 446 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!