I have a thousand friends! And only eight of them are Milhouse!

Homer: Do you really need all these Kurt Vonnegut novels?
Lisa: "They self-reference each other!"

Lisa: Sometimes i wish strangling your kid was still legal.
Marge: Not since they passed Homer's Law.

You can always go back to Michigan. They're still under Sharia law.

I got the idea from every movie ever made.

Everybody knows you got the idea for the series after an explosion at a crumpet factory knocked you off a double-decker bus. How could that be made-up?

Lisa: They're using pancakes as spoons.
Marge: Ooh let's see what else they do wrong.

Now prepare to take an incredible journey across the room.

Lisa: You're gonna regret the day you were born.
Bart: I already do, it's too close to Christmas.

Aunt Selma is treating a mob boss like an ordinary tax payer!

You're as pure as the ether that puts you to sleep.

Prepare to have everything you knew about milk cans challenged!

The Simpsons Quotes

Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart