Lisa: Willie, I love your chaps.
Willie: Me pants are ripped out.

Lisa: I hope you're happy. You all just wasted your time working your way into an after school class.
Bart, Milhouse, Nelson, and Ralph: Aahhh!

Moe: And that's that. Another story in the classic infallible three-act structure. Good enough for Aristotle, good enough for The Simpsons.
Lisa: Mr. Szyslak I have feeling there's going to be one more act to this story.
Moe: Well I'm not hanging around for that. Pfftt. Four acts.

It's so diverse. I've died and gone to a PBS kid's show.

Lisa: I pick up books like you pick up beers.
Homer: Then you have a serious reading problem.

I have a thousand friends! And only eight of them are Milhouse!

Homer: Do you really need all these Kurt Vonnegut novels?
Lisa: "They self-reference each other!"

Lisa: Sometimes i wish strangling your kid was still legal.
Marge: Not since they passed Homer's Law.

You can always go back to Michigan. They're still under Sharia law.

I got the idea from every movie ever made.

Everybody knows you got the idea for the series after an explosion at a crumpet factory knocked you off a double-decker bus. How could that be made-up?

Lisa: They're using pancakes as spoons.
Marge: Ooh let's see what else they do wrong.

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.


Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!