Lisa: Willie, I love your chaps.
Willie: Me pants are ripped out.

Lisa: I hope you're happy. You all just wasted your time working your way into an after school class.
Bart, Milhouse, Nelson, and Ralph: Aahhh!

Moe: And that's that. Another story in the classic infallible three-act structure. Good enough for Aristotle, good enough for The Simpsons.
Lisa: Mr. Szyslak I have feeling there's going to be one more act to this story.
Moe: Well I'm not hanging around for that. Pfftt. Four acts.

It's so diverse. I've died and gone to a PBS kid's show.

Lisa: I pick up books like you pick up beers.
Homer: Then you have a serious reading problem.

I have a thousand friends! And only eight of them are Milhouse!

Homer: Do you really need all these Kurt Vonnegut novels?
Lisa: "They self-reference each other!"

Lisa: Sometimes i wish strangling your kid was still legal.
Marge: Not since they passed Homer's Law.

You can always go back to Michigan. They're still under Sharia law.

I got the idea from every movie ever made.

Everybody knows you got the idea for the series after an explosion at a crumpet factory knocked you off a double-decker bus. How could that be made-up?

Lisa: They're using pancakes as spoons.
Marge: Ooh let's see what else they do wrong.

The Simpsons Quotes

Larry: What you got riding on this?
Homer: My daughter.
Larry: What a gambler!

Maggie? Oh, you must be sick. Let's see, what's old Dr. Washburn prescibe? Do you have dropsy? The grippe? Scofula? The vapors? Jungle rot? Dandy fever? Poor man's gout? Housemaid's knee? Climatic poopow? The staggers? Dum-dum fever?

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