Lisa Simpson Quotes
Homer: I can't wait for my first fire. Is that one?
Lisa: That's just someone barbecuing.
Homer: Is that one?
Bart: That's a guy with red hair.
- Permalink: I can't wait for my first fire. Is that one? That's just someo...
Lisa: Bart, come with me. I'll take you to someone who will make you feel better.
Bart: Is it my rabbit, Cottontail? The one who went to live upstate?
Lisa: He died, Bart. Dad buried him in the backyard. But not in that order.
- Permalink: Bart, come with me. I'll take you to someone who will make you f...
Homer: Lisa, honey, I bought you something. A DVD!
Lisa: Not interested!
Homer: It's a documentary! By the BBC! In cooperation with Canal+!
Lisa: Ah! Gimme gimme gimme!!
- Permalink: Lisa, honey, I bought you something. A DVD! Not interested! ...
Lisa: You can't give me a yellow card! You're my father!
Homer: When I put on these shorts, I'm not your father anymore. And judging by how tight they are, I'm never gonna be anyone else's either.
- Permalink: You can't give me a yellow card! You're my father! When I put ...
Lisa: And this website will tell you the weather.
Marge: Sunny? I never have to look out the window again.
- Permalink: And this website will tell you the weather. Sunny? I never hav...
(to Marge about her Internet surfing success) I'm proud of you, Mom! You're like Christopher Columbus. You discovered something millions of people knew about before you.
- Permalink: I'm proud of you, Mom! You're like Christopher Columbus. You dis...
Dad, you're out of shape even for an American.
- Permalink: Dad, you're out of shape even for an American.
(After the family puts their special items in the safe, smoke begins coming out.)
Bart: What's that comin' out of the safe?
Homer: I don't know--Maybe the Krusty doll accidentally turned on the car's headlights, which focused on the cologne bottle, causing it to boil and soon explode.
Lisa: Dad, that's ridiculous!
(The safe blows apart from the explosion.)
Krusty Doll: What's the deal with this California pizza? If I wanted cheese and fruit--(As it burns from the flames and begins melting)--I'd...have...to...(Melts into a plastic puddle)
Marge: (Devastated when the family album falls apart into ashes) Nooooooo! It's gone! That family album was a record of my accomplishments! It's like what a resume is for a man.
Lisa: I agree, Mom. It's very sad. But we'll have to move on. It's not like we can restage all our family photos.
Marge: (Becoming delighted upon the idea) Restage the photos!
Bart: Lisa you fool, you've doomed us all!
(Marge quickly puts a baby bonnet on him and snaps a shot with her camera as he cries out before she takes a second shot, which is among the first ones seen in the new family album.)
- Permalink: What's that comin' out of the safe? I don't know--Maybe the Kr...
Lisa: Now we can enjoy Boxingham Palace in peace.
Bart: Want to melt it with a hose?
Lisa: Sure I guess, a couple of birds pooped on it over here.
- Permalink: Now we can enjoy Boxingham Palace in peace. Want to melt it wi...
Lisa: Dad, don't throw rice, it makes the birds swell up!
Homer: Oh, Lisa, that's one of those rumors you get off the internet.
(Behind them, three birds explode)
Homer: Hey Selma? Want some rice?
- Permalink: Dad, don't throw rice, it makes the birds swell up! Oh, Lisa, ...
(Bart and Lisa are playing Ping Pong.)
- Permalink: Ping. Pong. Ping. Pong.
Bart: Lower the draw bridge!
Lisa: What's the password?
Bart: (slowly) I love my sister.
- Permalink: Lower the draw bridge! What's the password? I love my siste...
Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
- Permalink: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles tri...
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
- Permalink: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut! Twenty dollars can buy...