The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Lisa: Now we can enjoy Boxingham Palace in peace.
Bart: Want to melt it with a hose?
Lisa: Sure I guess, a couple of birds pooped on it over here.

Lisa: Dad, don't throw rice, it makes the birds swell up!
Homer: Oh, Lisa, that's one of those rumors you get off the internet.
(Behind them, three birds explode)
Homer: Hey Selma? Want some rice?

(Bart and Lisa are playing Ping Pong.)
Bart: Ping.
Lisa: Pong.
Bart: Ping.
Lisa: Pong.

Bart: Lower the draw bridge!
Lisa: What's the password?
Bart: (slowly) I love my sister.

Lisa: Nelson, you came to help us in our time of need.
(Nelson jumps off the fort.)
Nelson: HA! HA!

Lisa: What kind of lunch is this? A drawing of a sandwich.
Bart: All I got is Grandpa's medication.

Lisa: My name is Lisa. What are your names?
Yokel Child: Whitney.
Yokel Child: Jitney.
Yokel Child: Dubya.
Yokel Child: Incest.
Yokel Child: Krystalmeth.
Yokel Child: International Harvester.
Yokel Child: Birthday.
Jitney: Awwww, are we gonna do this much work every day?

(Bart and Lisa ride dolphins)
Bart: Mine has a cup holder!
Lisa: That's a blowhole!
Bart: You're a blowhole!

Slow down! Watch out for that car. Your hands should be at 10 and 2, not 3 and nothing!

Homer: You know, my great-great grandmother was an Indian. I guess I should've mentioned that before, huh?
Lisa: Yes, you should have!

Lisa: Show's over, let's go.
Homer: What's your hurry?
Lisa: Well, some of my report, um, wasn't thoroughly fact checked.
Homer: (Laughs) My little girl's just like CBS News.

Bart: Ay Carumba!
(outside the story)
Bart: That's the only line I get in your stupid story?
Lisa: There's no such thing as small parts, just small actors. (Laughs)

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 441 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

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