Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXPopular Lois Griffin Quotes
Peter: No, you're not supposed to hit it into the water.
Lois: But you hit it into the water.
Peter: I know I hit it into the water.
Lois: But why do they have water if you're not supposed to hit it there.
Peter: Because it's fun! We're having fun!
Peter: Well, I am off to try and get out of this conversation!
Lois: Peter, what did you do?
Peter: He was slightly inconveniencing me and Joe, so we threatened to destroy his family.
Lois: Wow, Doctor Hartman, that's really short. I suppose it's fine if he's going to die at 14. Is there anything there about that?
Dr. Hartman: Well, we learned in medical school that the short ones do go faster, because they smell more farts than the rest of us.
Success is being true to yourself.
There's nothing worse than grocery shopping the day before Thanksgiving.
Can't you just go out there and pretend to have a good time?
The secret to happiness is burying all your true feelings and living a life of bland compromise.
See, we're all terrible people inside.
Remember, if you screw this up, mommy's going to kill all of your toys.
Peter, we have a hamper. Stop throwing your dirty clothes in the toilet.
Lois: Did you see that sweet new piece of ass, Dallas Portland?
Bonnie: Oh, I don't know. Why don't you ask my index and middle finger.
