Two and a Half Men

Lyndsey McElroy Quotes

Lyndsey: The guest toilet is broken; I want you to fix it.
Alan: Are we role playing? I am the naughty plumber here to snake your drain.
Lyndsey: No, you are the loving boyfriend, here to fix my toilet.
 • Rating: Unrated

Zoey: Interesting, I can imagine you as a drunken Sodomite, never imagining you for liking poetry.
Lyndsey: Oh no, I really do, here is a poem you might appreciate:
Roses are red, Violets are blue,
I am nice person
And you can bite my pale, unrefined ass.
Zoey: A lady does not bite; she will however make you wear that ass as a bonnet.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lyndsey: I am not a fan of fat people singing in a foreign language for two and a half hours.
Zoey: Well, Opera is not for everyone, to appreciate it requires a refined taste and certain amount of education.
 • Rating: Unrated

Zoey: I slept like a baby.
Lyndsey: Hope you did not wet the bed.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lyndsey: There's not enough cranberry juice in the world to put out the fire between my legs.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lyndsey: You feel like an idiot? That casting agent said he could get me on Melrose Place.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lyndsey: I'm so full it'd be like sticking a pin in a balloon.
Alan: Can we please not call it a pin?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lyndsey: I think you underestimate your brother.
Charlie: Oh, it's not an estimate. I already got the bill.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lyndsey: Oh, God. You saw "Cinnamon's Buns?"
Charlie: Not all the way through. Though I'm very familiar with the bakery shop scene in the middle. You know, with the frosting gun?
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Charlie: Give me in the lay of the land.
Lyndsey: You mean who in this land can you lay?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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