Marge Simpson Quotes
Marge: I'm sorry, Maggie, but growing up means giving up the things you love.
Grampa: It's true. I had to give up everything but raisins, and the doctor says even those are killing me. Sweet, plump coffin nails they are.
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(Homer and Marge are having difficulty "snuggling")
Homer: Something has changed, but I can't figure out what. (gasps) Our mattress! I traded it to the Lovejoys!
Marge: You traded our mattress? I had my secret cash in it!
Homer: Oh, that's long gone, baby, long gone. (shows her a bling necklace with "Mattress $$$" spelled out in gold and diamonds) It was made for Elvis, but he found it tacky.
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Homer: Look, we're just gonna take our mattress, do a quick sweep of the medicine chest and we're outta here. (Does a sneaking effect sound of a high-hat cymbal.)
Homer: (Stops hi-hat effect) Sorry.
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Marge: Reverend Lovejoy, our marriage needs this bed!
Helen Lovejoy: Our marriage needs it more!
Rev. Lovejoy: Well, I am reminded of the story of wise King Solomon.
Homer: Pfft. You would be.
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Marge: You really want to make love on half a mattress behind a billboard?
Homer: It's like our honeymoon all over again! Aw, we even have the same bum looking at us.
Bum: I knew you kids would make it! (poking Homer's stomach) Man, you got fat.
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Coach: Let me get this straight. You want our boys to play a fake rematch against Springfield so your son can make the catch he missed and feel better about himself?
Coach: I guess I could, if you pretend to be my fiance when my mother comes to visit.
Marge: Okay, if you pretend to be our chauffeur at my high-school reunion.
Coach: Fine, fine, if you pretend to be a ghost in an old amusement park I'm trying to buy.
Marge: We should stop now.
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Ghost Homer: You want to have ghost sex?
Ghost Marge: I keep telling you, ghost sex is nothing! It's worse than nothing!
Ghost Homer: Then why were you moaning last time?
Ghost Marge: Because I'm a GHOST! Whooooo!
Ghost Homer: Aahhh! A ghost!
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(After Bart brought Marge's character back to life)
Marge: Wait till I tell the other moms you gave two-thirds of your life force to save me. What a good boy.
(An angry mob busts in)
Moe: He's weak!
Comic Book Guy: Slay him and take his experience points!
Bart: Wait, stop. If you kill me, I'll egg your houses in real life!
Mrs. Krabapel: It's still worth it!
(She stabs Bart in the eye)
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Lisa: And this website will tell you the weather.
Marge: Sunny? I never have to look out the window again.
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(Marge discovers that Milhouse is a girl)
Marge: Why, Milhouse. Don't you look lovely.
Milhouse: (Angrily) It's a spell! (Sweetly) And thank you.
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My son is an evil knight. (Pauses) The most successful evil knight in all of Earthland Realm. Not bad.</i> Marge
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(Marge's character is stuck in front of a wall)
Marge: This is really annoying.
(Grandpa is doing the same thing)
Grandpa: You're telling me.
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Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
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Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
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