Milhouse Van Houten Quotes
Bart: Boys and girls, Mrs. Krabappel, I come before you today to solve a riddle that has plagued mankind for centuries: What has four legs and ticks?
Milhouse: A walking clock?
Nelson: A walking clock!
Martin: I'd wager he has some variety of walking clock in that box!
Edna: Bart, is it a walking clock?
Bart: What?.....No, it's my dog.
Milhouse: Bart, look! It's Principal Skinner. And I think he's gone crazy he's not wearing a suit or tie or anything!
Bart: Principal Skinner? Um, I'm real sorry about my dog getting you fired, and biting you, and then getting it on with your leg.
Lisa: I propose to you that your heir not need be a boy. In this phallocentric society of ours--
Mr. Burns: I don't know what phallocentric means, but no girls!
Milhouse: (dressed as a girl) So much for Plan B.
Mr. Burns: I specifically said, no geeks!
Milhouse: But my mom says I'm cool...
Mr. Burns: Men, there's a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because I crippled him myself to inspire you.
Milhouse: (to his mom and dad) I hope they win, or Mr. Burns said he's coming back.
Milhouse: (pointing out the window) What's that building over there?
Box Factory Tour Guide: That's just a TV studio where they film Krusty the Clown and other non-box-related programs. Since it has nothing to do with boxes, I'll just shut these blinds.
Box Factory Tour Guide: This is the most popular room in the tour.
Milhouse: It's just like the other rooms.
Box Factory Tour Guide: Yes, but with one important difference. (Looks to his side) Oh, they took that out. Yes, it is just like the other rooms.
Bart: (seeing his reflection in Milhouse's glasses) I'm a nerd!
Milhouse: (seeing his reflection in Bart's glasses) So am I!
Bart: Aw, I'm out of money.
Milhouse: Don't say that out loud.
(Security men watching them on TV screens.)
Security Man: Caucasian males out of money in sector four. Go to code red.
Bart: Okay, we're young, rich, and full of sugar. What do we do?
Milhouse: Let's go crazy, Broadway-style!
Bart and Milhouse: (singing) Springfield, Springfield, it's a hell of a town; the schoolyard's up and the shopping mall's down; the stray dogs go to the animal pound. Springfield, Springfield! Springfield, Springfield!
Sailor: New York, New York!
Bart: New York is that a-way man!
Sailor: Thanks kid!
Bart and Milhouse: It's a hell of a town!
Edna: The wireless was an invention by Guglielmo Marconi. Who can tell me what his first message was?
Milhouse: I want-a change-a my name!
Edna: (chuckling) Oh, good one, Milhouse. Anyone else? The first message by wireless?
Bart: It was
Martin: Our tenth caller will receive tickets to Supertramp!
Milhouse: I checked around... the girls are calling you Fatty Fat Fat Fat and Nelson's planning to pull down your pants. But, nobody's trying to kill ya.
Bart: Aaah... that's good.
Nelson: pulls down pants
Group Of Girls: Fatty fat fat fat, fatty fatty fat fat!