Milhouse: Uh, that's a nice dress.
Samantha: My dad makes me wear it, I hate it!
Milhouse: Well I hate it too!

Milhouse: Let me try! Will I get beat up today? ... All signs point to yes
Nelson: That ball knows everything. *punch*

How could this happen? We started out like Romeo and Juliet but it ended up in tragedy!

Bart: Hey, what's with the skirt?
Milhouse: I've brought friends to this tree house before.
Bart: Yeah, but never a girl. What if I want to strut around nude?

Bart: Milhouse, we're living at the age of cooties. I can't believe the risk you're running. Besides, what's so great about kissing?
Milhouse: Bart it's just not the kissing a lot of it is waiting to kiss you know like when you open an Eskimo Pie and you wait just a little bit for it to melt?
Bart: But she doesn't melt.
Milhouse: Oh, yes she does.

Bart: Mom, I wanna be a rockstar.
Marge: Hmmmmm we'll discuss it later. Is Milhouse okay?
Homer: Uh, I'll be right back....
Milhouse: Heeeelp.

Bart: Hey, Milhouse, cool jacket!
Milhouse: It cost me 50,000 Bazooka Joe comics!

Dr. Pryor: Here's your scientifically selected career.
Janey: Architect.
Kid: Insurance salesman,
Ralph: Salmon gutter?
Milhouse: Military strongman.
Martin: Systems analyst. Systems analyst.
Dr. Pryor: Systems analyst.
Martin: All right!
Lisa: Homemaker?
Dr. Pryor: Mm-hm. It's like a mommy.
Bart: Police officer? Well, I'll be jiggered.

Edna: After two months at sea, the pilgrims were running out of food and water. Yes, Nelson?
Nelson: Did they have any yo-yo's?
Edna: No, they did not have yo-yo's. When they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by the friendly Indians.
Milhouse: Did the Indians have yo-yo's!?
Edna: No they did not have yo-yo's! That's it! I am sick and tired of talking about yo-yo's. From now on I won't accept any book report, science project, dioramas, or anything else on yo-yo's, or yo-yo related topics. Am I making myself clear?
Bart: Yo!

Homer: Goodbye son!
Milhouse: Hey, Bart, I think they're finally hauling your dad away!
Bart: Maybe it's for the best.

Bart: Okay Milhouse, how many Krusty autographs should I put you down for?
Milhouse: Uh, a hundred.
Bart: Consider it done. (singing) You're walking along the street or you're at a party! Or else you're alone and then you suddenly dig dig dig. This could be the start of something big.

Milhouse: Oh, Hi Bart. I was just in the neighborhood and wha? Krusty the Clown! What a surprise!
Bart: Milhouse. You can come in, and, drop the charade.

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Mr. Burns: Oh, and one more thing: you must find the jade monkey before the next full moon.
Smithers Actually sir, we found the jade monkey. It was in your glove compartment.
Mr. Burns: And the road maps, and ice scraper?
Smithers: They were in there too, sir.
Mr. Burns: Excellent! It's all falling into place...