Milhouse: Uh, that's a nice dress.
Samantha: My dad makes me wear it, I hate it!
Milhouse: Well I hate it too!

Milhouse: Let me try! Will I get beat up today? ... All signs point to yes
Nelson: That ball knows everything. *punch*

How could this happen? We started out like Romeo and Juliet but it ended up in tragedy!

Bart: Hey, what's with the skirt?
Milhouse: I've brought friends to this tree house before.
Bart: Yeah, but never a girl. What if I want to strut around nude?

Bart: Milhouse, we're living at the age of cooties. I can't believe the risk you're running. Besides, what's so great about kissing?
Milhouse: Bart it's just not the kissing a lot of it is waiting to kiss you know like when you open an Eskimo Pie and you wait just a little bit for it to melt?
Bart: But she doesn't melt.
Milhouse: Oh, yes she does.

Bart: Mom, I wanna be a rockstar.
Marge: Hmmmmm we'll discuss it later. Is Milhouse okay?
Homer: Uh, I'll be right back....
Milhouse: Heeeelp.

Bart: Hey, Milhouse, cool jacket!
Milhouse: It cost me 50,000 Bazooka Joe comics!

Dr. Pryor: Here's your scientifically selected career.
Janey: Architect.
Kid: Insurance salesman,
Ralph: Salmon gutter?
Milhouse: Military strongman.
Martin: Systems analyst. Systems analyst.
Dr. Pryor: Systems analyst.
Martin: All right!
Lisa: Homemaker?
Dr. Pryor: Mm-hm. It's like a mommy.
Bart: Police officer? Well, I'll be jiggered.

Edna: After two months at sea, the pilgrims were running out of food and water. Yes, Nelson?
Nelson: Did they have any yo-yo's?
Edna: No, they did not have yo-yo's. When they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by the friendly Indians.
Milhouse: Did the Indians have yo-yo's!?
Edna: No they did not have yo-yo's! That's it! I am sick and tired of talking about yo-yo's. From now on I won't accept any book report, science project, dioramas, or anything else on yo-yo's, or yo-yo related topics. Am I making myself clear?
Bart: Yo!

Homer: Goodbye son!
Milhouse: Hey, Bart, I think they're finally hauling your dad away!
Bart: Maybe it's for the best.

Bart: Okay Milhouse, how many Krusty autographs should I put you down for?
Milhouse: Uh, a hundred.
Bart: Consider it done. (singing) You're walking along the street or you're at a party! Or else you're alone and then you suddenly dig dig dig. This could be the start of something big.

Milhouse: Oh, Hi Bart. I was just in the neighborhood and wha? Krusty the Clown! What a surprise!
Bart: Milhouse. You can come in, and, drop the charade.

The Simpsons Quotes

(Squishing an ice cream to his forehead) I'm a unitard!

Ralph

Kent Brockman: When cat burglaries start, can mass murders be far behind? This reporter isn't saying that the burglar is an inhuman monster like the Wolfman, but he very well could be. So, professor: would you say it's time for everyone to panic?
Professor: Yes I would, Kent.