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The-simpsons

(singing) Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me. I feel so damn lonely, won't someone kill me?! cries in hands And many more!

</i> Moe

That's a terrific title. It jumps out at you like a rat out of your underwear drawer.

Homer: This vibrating massage chair feels great.
Moe: That ain't a massage chair, it's just full of cockroaches.

Marge (reading Moe's note): "Dear pus bag . . ."
Homer: Whoa, Marge, who'd you piss off?
Moe: It's for you, pus bag!

Moe: Look at me, sitting here depressed when I'm surrounded by the happiest people in the world : writers.

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Lisa: You're a heartless jerk!
Moe: Where did that come from? Oh, right, my actions.

Moe: Heh, heh. This is the first time I ever watered down my liquor!
Lenny: Moe, why are your eyes darting back and forth like that?

I like creating disappointment. You know that little moment when people's hope dies? I feed on that.

Marge: Any minute now, he'll scamper through that doggy door.
Homer: Any minute now, I'll be the dog she's lookin' for.
Barney, Moe, Lenny, and Carl: Any minute now, you'll be stuck with her brood.
Patty and Selma: Any minute now, this pooch will know she's screwed.
Marge: My hearts tells me to trust him.
Patty and Selma: But your head knows he's a hound.
Homer: I want to do the right thing.
Moe: Come on! With all this high class tail around?
(Hooker Dog smokes a cigarette, coughs badly)
Fleas: Any minute now, our girl will make a brand new start.
Patty and Selma: Yes!
Marge: Any minute now, I won't care that broke my heart.
Marge and Homer: Annnny minnnute nooooow.

(Moe tries stealing a man's watch, but the man sees him.)
Moe: Oh, I wasn't trying to steal your watch. I--I--I was just coming on to you.
Man at Bar: Okay, let's go back to my place.
Moe: Oh, boy.

Moe: Who wants to abolish democracy forever? Show of hands.
Carl: I could really go for some kind of military thing like, uh, Juan Pern. When he disappeared ya, you stayed disappeared.
Lenny: Plus his wife was Madonna.

(Kent Brockman reports on the Springfield presidential primary.)
Kent Brockman: With Springfield's primary now first in the nation, our humble city is overrun with candidates, newshounds, spin doctors, hacks, flacks, Russerts, Blitzers and even the occasional voter. (to Moe) Sir, do have a preference?
Moe: Yeah, I like girls, fruit loop.
Kent Brockman: Oh. Are you a registered voter?
Moe: I'm a registered something.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 126 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

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