Wow, even I ain't hopin' for porn.

</i> Moe

Patty: Elvis Stojko is so handsome!
Selma: He can grease up my skates anytime!
Moe: Don't you hags know that all male figure skaters are twinkly in the lutz?
Elvis Stojko: That's a common misconception. I have a girlfriend in Vancouver.
Moe: Made up girlfriend, made up city!

(to Lisa) My brain goo's coming out all artistical, thanks to you.

(singing) Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me. I feel so damn lonely, won't someone kill me?! cries in hands And many more!

</i> Moe

That's a terrific title. It jumps out at you like a rat out of your underwear drawer.

Homer: This vibrating massage chair feels great.
Moe: That ain't a massage chair, it's just full of cockroaches.

Marge (reading Moe's note): "Dear pus bag . . ."
Homer: Whoa, Marge, who'd you piss off?
Moe: It's for you, pus bag!

Moe: Look at me, sitting here depressed when I'm surrounded by the happiest people in the world : writers.

  • Permalink:
  • Added:

Lisa: You're a heartless jerk!
Moe: Where did that come from? Oh, right, my actions.

Moe: Heh, heh. This is the first time I ever watered down my liquor!
Lenny: Moe, why are your eyes darting back and forth like that?

I like creating disappointment. You know that little moment when people's hope dies? I feed on that.

Marge: Any minute now, he'll scamper through that doggy door.
Homer: Any minute now, I'll be the dog she's lookin' for.
Barney, Moe, Lenny, and Carl: Any minute now, you'll be stuck with her brood.
Patty and Selma: Any minute now, this pooch will know she's screwed.
Marge: My hearts tells me to trust him.
Patty and Selma: But your head knows he's a hound.
Homer: I want to do the right thing.
Moe: Come on! With all this high class tail around?
(Hooker Dog smokes a cigarette, coughs badly)
Fleas: Any minute now, our girl will make a brand new start.
Patty and Selma: Yes!
Marge: Any minute now, I won't care that broke my heart.
Marge and Homer: Annnny minnnute nooooow.

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart