I hate this Homer jerk with his beautiful wife and loving family, when all I got is this doorway.

Carl: Hey can you fix the sound?
Lenny: And the color?
Moe: And show it in a regular theatre?

Carl: What's wrong Moe?
Moe: I just got this strange feeling Homer's in trouble.
Lenny: That's weird I just got this strange feeling some guy I don't know named Fausto is in trouble.
Moe: Come on we got to save Homer!
Lenny: And Fausto!

Wow, even I ain't hopin' for porn.

</i> Moe

Patty: Elvis Stojko is so handsome!
Selma: He can grease up my skates anytime!
Moe: Don't you hags know that all male figure skaters are twinkly in the lutz?
Elvis Stojko: That's a common misconception. I have a girlfriend in Vancouver.
Moe: Made up girlfriend, made up city!

(to Lisa) My brain goo's coming out all artistical, thanks to you.

(singing) Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me. I feel so damn lonely, won't someone kill me?! cries in hands And many more!

</i> Moe

That's a terrific title. It jumps out at you like a rat out of your underwear drawer.

Homer: This vibrating massage chair feels great.
Moe: That ain't a massage chair, it's just full of cockroaches.

Marge (reading Moe's note): "Dear pus bag . . ."
Homer: Whoa, Marge, who'd you piss off?
Moe: It's for you, pus bag!

Moe: Look at me, sitting here depressed when I'm surrounded by the happiest people in the world : writers.

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Lisa: You're a heartless jerk!
Moe: Where did that come from? Oh, right, my actions.

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!