The Simpsons

Moe Szyslak Quotes (Page 6)

Lenny: Homer, don't be so quick to abandon this paparazzo thing.
Carl: Yeah, it's the American tradition to cut people down to size because they're brought so much joy into our lives.
Lenny: You know who I can't stand? That Robin Williams. You know one time I saw him eating dinner with his children. He wouldn't take the time out to do all the funny bits from his movies.
Carl: And my sister once saw Burt Reynolds at an airport, and he wouldn't even cosign her mortgage.
Homer: You guys are right! I should get back into the game. (Moaning) Oh, but I threw away my camera!
Moe: Oh, here. (Hands Homer his camera) Use this one. I was gonna use it to take secret photos in the ladies' toilet, but no dames ever come in this joint.
Homer: Thanks, Moe. (Leaves the bar)
Moe: Sure.
(Two pretty women enter)
Woman #1: Excuse me, do you have a ladies' room?
Woman #2: We need to trade bras and panties.
Moe: Oh! You gotta be kidding me! (Breaks a beer bottle horizontally with his hands.)
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Moe: My dad was a circus freak but my mom don't remember which one. I like to think it was a little bit of all of them.
 • Rating: Unrated

Moe: I hate this Homer jerk with his beautiful wife and loving family, when all I got is this doorway.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carl: Hey can you fix the sound?
Lenny: And the color?
Moe: And show it in a regular theatre?
 • Rating: Unrated

(Patty and Selma prepare to show their home movies.)
Moe: Wow, even I ain't hopin' for porn.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carl: What's wrong Moe?
Moe: I just got this strange feeling Homer's in trouble.
Lenny: That's weird I just got this strange feeling some guy I don't know named Fausto is in trouble.
Moe: Come on we got to save Homer!
Lenny: And Fausto!
 • Rating: Unrated

Patty: Elvis Stojko is so handsome!
Selma: He can grease up my skates anytime!
Moe: Don't you hags know that all male figure skaters are twinkly in the lutz?
Elvis Stojko: That's a common misconception. I have a girlfriend in Vancouver.
Moe: Made up girlfriend, made up city!
 • Rating: Unrated

Moe: (to Lisa) My brain goo's coming out all artistical, thanks to you.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Moe sitting on Simpsons' doorstep upset)
Moe: (singing) Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me. I feel so damn lonely, won't someone kill me?! cries in hands And many more!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Moe: That's a terrific title. It jumps out at you like a rat out of your underwear drawer.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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