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The-simpsons

Mr. Burns: What, how dare you disturb us during nap time!
Lady: We're from the Nuclear Regulatory Comission. This is a surprise test of worker competence.
Mr. Burns: There must be some mistake. Weee... make cookies here. Mr. Burns old fashion good time, extra chewy..
Man: Get the axe!

(During the nuclear meltdown, Mr. Burns has locked Smithers out of the escape pod)
Smithers: For the love of God, sir! There are two seats!
Mr. Burns: I like to put my feet up.

Man: Umm, excuse me. What are you doing?
Mr. Burns: I'm giving you the beating of your life!

Smithers, dismember the corpse and send his widow a corsage.

And that's where we came in. Now, without further ado, here's what happened next. But first, I'll daydream about a sport utility vehicle, a crispy chicken sandwich, and a wonderful blue pill!

Guard: It's time for a cavity search.
Mr. Burns: Oh, I haven't cavity in forty years.
Guard: I wasn't talking about your teeth.
Mr. Burns: Nor was I.

Is it a crime to want nice things and then to steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.

Carl: Sir, your spare ribs, cooked just the way you like them.
Mr. Burns: Spare ribs eh? I've played around with ten pins a time or two in my life and, to me, the term spare reeks of second best. Give me ten full frames of strike ribs. [to Lenny]: And you, find my doctor and find out why I'd ask for something as insane as strike ribs.

Mr. Burns: The power plant's new annual Fourth of July picnic is this upcoming Saturday.
Homer: Woohoo!
Mr. Burns: I'm afraid you misunderstand. This picnic is for me, you will all be spending your Independence Day slaving away in the hot summer sun with no pay, lotion, or gratitude.

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