The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXMr. Burns Quotes
Mr. Burns: Hello my name is Mr. Snrub and I come from some place far away. Yes, that will do. Anyway I say we invest that money back in the nuclear plant.
Smithers: I like the way Snrub thinks!
Mr. Burns: That's right, keep eating...Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison donut! (cackles evily) There is a poison one, isn't there Smithers?
Smithers: Err...no, sir. I discussed this with our lawyers and they consider it murder.
Burns: Damn their oily hides!
Mr. Burns: I want you to show this woman the time of her life.
Homer: Gotcha! Marge, we're getting some drive-thru, then we're doing it twice!
Smithers: I prepared a special musical number for Jack's special night.
Smithers: There is a man.
Chorus: There is a man!
Smithers: A certain man.
Chorus: A certain man!
Smithers: A man whose grace and handsome face are known across the land. You know his name.
Chorus: You know his name!
Smithers: It's Mr. Burns.
Chorus: It's Mr. Burns!
Smithers: He loves a smoke, enjoys a joke.
Mr. Burns & Chorus: Ah ha ha ha!
Smithers: Why he's worth ten times what he earns.
Chorus: He's Mr. Burns!
Mr. Burns: I'm Mr. Burns!
Smithers: He's Monty Burns!
Mr. Burns: I'm MR. Burns!
Smithers & Chorus: To friends he's known as Monty, but to you it's Mr. Burns!
Smithers: Bur-bur-bur-bur-Burns.
Mr. Burns: Burns!
Marge: You can't fire me just because I'm married. I'm gonna sue the pants off you!
Mr. Burns: You don't have to sue me to get my pants off.
Mr. Burns: I must have her! Smithers, zoom in. Closer! Closer! Closer, dammit!
(the camera hits Marge in the head)
Marge: Ow!
Mr. Burns: Too close.
Smithers, this is a golden opportunity. If we get him alive, we can put him on Broadway. Dead, we can sell monkey stew to the army!
Mr. Burns: What do you think, Smithers?
Smithers: I think women and seamen don't mix.
Marge: Am I going too?
Mr. Burns: Of course! We can't go without the bait...-thing beauty, the...bathing beauty. Ah, I covered that up nicely.
Colonel Burns, why ... I haven't heard my father's name in years.
Well neighbor, I see you've got your running shoes on, that's a good thing!....Smithers, release the hounds.
(Flanders runs and screams like a litle girl)
What makes a man endanger his job, and, yes, even his life, by asking me for money?
