Officer Barbrady Quotes
Mr. Garrison: I'm telling you, Officer Barbrady, this is all a terrible mistake.
Barbrady: Well, the FBI says I have to keep you here, so that's what I'm gonna do, Mr. Complainypants.
- Permalink: I'm telling you, Officer Barbrady, this is all a terrible mistak...
Wow, they've got activists for everything these days.
- Permalink: Wow, they've got activists for everything these days.
JESUS CHRIST! HE'S GONNA RAM IT!Police Officer
- Permalink: JESUS CHRIST! HE'S GONNA RAM IT!
Crazy son of a bitch!Police Officer
- Permalink: Crazy son of a bitch!
Randy: Here's Korn's van!
Lady in mob: Let's flip it over!
Officer Barbrady: Okay people, let's try to stay orderly. The best way to do this is to all get on one side and push from the top.
- Permalink: Here's Korn's van! Let's flip it over! Okay people, let's tr...
Officer Barbrady: So what does the ATF do when religious fanatics are gonna commit mass suicide?
ATF Agent: Oh, don't worry, we won't let that happen. Even if it means we have to kill each and every one of them.
- Permalink: So what does the ATF do when religious fanatics are gonna commit...
(upon seeing Cartman on the cross) T is for turtle.
- Permalink: T is for turtle.
Stand back, people, give the little burnt boy some breathing room!
- Permalink: Stand back, people, give the little burnt boy some breathing roo...
Mayor: Officer Barbrady, let's pretend for one second that we had a competent law enforcer in this town. What would he do?
Officer Barbrady: Hmmm. That's a good question, Mayor. Let me get right on that, with thinking.
- Permalink: Officer Barbrady, let's pretend for one second that we had a com...
Chef: (after lights come back on) Is everybody okay?? That sounded like a gunshot!
Officer Barbrady: Oh, my god! Look!
(Everybody sees Mephesto's body, which has been shot at.)
Kenny: (mumbling) Oh my god, they killed Mephesto!
Kyle: You bastard!
- Permalink: Is everybody okay?? That sounded like a gunshot! Oh, my god! L...
Jimbo: Well, looks like we're not going anywhere for a long time.
Director: We're snowed in?
Mayor: Yes! We're trapped!
Mr. Garrison: Like sailors on a submarine...
Mayor: My god, this is the worst storm I have ever seen!
Director's Assistant: Oh, I have to get out of here; I haven't eaten since breakfast.
Officer Barbrady: Yeah, I'm getting kind of hungry, too!
Jimbo: I hope you all don't realize what we're facing here... Our only option might be to...eat each other to stay alive.
(Everybody in the building gasps in horror.)
Director: Uh... It's only been, like, four hours... Aren't you people resorting to cannablism a little quickly?
Jimbo: That's a while to live, Mr. Director. I don't eat plenty, but if some of us must die so the rest can stay alive so be it.
Mayor: But...how do we decide who?
Jimbo: Well, we'll draw straws...
Director: Now, wait just a minute! You've all had a big breakfast! Can't you people live without eating for a while??
Jimbo: Calm down, soldier! We need every person here to keep his head! Barbrady, fetch some straws.
Director: Well, who the hell made you the boss, anyway??
Announcer: Who the hell made Jimbo boss? Was it: Officer Barbrady? Chef? Mr. Garrison?
- Permalink: Well, looks like we're not going anywhere for a long time. We'...
Jimbo: Alright, so far everyone has a long piece of straw. We'll keep drawing
(Jimbo picks a piece of straw.)
Jimbo: (relieved) Whew!
(Mr. Garrison picks a piece of straw.)
Mr. Garrison: (relieved) Whew!
(Officer Barbrady looks at the last piece of straw in his hands.)
Officer Barbrady: Whew.
Jimbo: Wait a minute! Where the hell is the short one??
Officer Barbrady: The short what?
Jimbo: Damn it, Barbrady! When you draw straws, you're supposed to have one of them short! That's how you decide who loses!
Officer Barbrady: That's not how I played it
Mr. Garrison: Oooh, can we hurry this up? My stomach is growling
- Permalink: Alright, so far everyone has a long piece of straw. We'll keep d...
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