If you truly want revenge you have to be hard. You have to be dishonest and devious and cold. You can't let people see what's really in your heart.

Lisbon: You look a little creaky.
Jane: Yeah, a cattle prod will do it to you.
Lisbon: Well, the doctor says there's no lasting effects.
Jane: Well that doctor should try it himself sometime.

Maybe you can just shove him in a corner before he starts to smell.

You're very well groomed for a crazy person.

Jane: I take this nap for freedom, Lisbon. For every little guy who has a dream.
Lisbon: Nap later. Now we fight crime.

Jane: Says our missing girl is an unstable nympho-maniacal stoner. Interesting.
Doctor: I didn't say that.
Jane: Yes you did. You practically screamed it.

I come bearing a practical and speedy solution for all of your crime solving problems.

Jane: What's your trick, Max?
Max: Inner peace.
Jane: The kind of peace you get when you shoot your wife's killer?

Tea? It's like a hug in a cup.

Jane: I programmed my dreams to work on the Red John case.
Lisbon: Oh, well then make sure you put in for overtime.

When you tell me boring things, I set them free immediately. It saves on overcrowding.

Lisbon: You're lying."
Jane: You can't tell that I'm lying.
Lisbon: Yes, I can tell.
Jane: Liar, liar pants on fire.

The Mentalist Quotes

As they say, you can take the girl out of Chicago but you can't take the Chicago out of the girl.

Jane

Open sesame.

Jane