If you truly want revenge you have to be hard. You have to be dishonest and devious and cold. You can't let people see what's really in your heart.

Lisbon: You look a little creaky.
Jane: Yeah, a cattle prod will do it to you.
Lisbon: Well, the doctor says there's no lasting effects.
Jane: Well that doctor should try it himself sometime.

Maybe you can just shove him in a corner before he starts to smell.

You're very well groomed for a crazy person.

Jane: I take this nap for freedom, Lisbon. For every little guy who has a dream.
Lisbon: Nap later. Now we fight crime.

Jane: Says our missing girl is an unstable nympho-maniacal stoner. Interesting.
Doctor: I didn't say that.
Jane: Yes you did. You practically screamed it.

I come bearing a practical and speedy solution for all of your crime solving problems.

Jane: What's your trick, Max?
Max: Inner peace.
Jane: The kind of peace you get when you shoot your wife's killer?

Tea? It's like a hug in a cup.

Jane: I programmed my dreams to work on the Red John case.
Lisbon: Oh, well then make sure you put in for overtime.

When you tell me boring things, I set them free immediately. It saves on overcrowding.

Lisbon: You're lying."
Jane: You can't tell that I'm lying.
Lisbon: Yes, I can tell.
Jane: Liar, liar pants on fire.

The Mentalist Quotes

As they say, you can take the girl out of Chicago but you can't take the Chicago out of the girl.


Open sesame.