Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXPopular Peter Griffin Quotes
Peter: I can't believe we lost the talent show! What'd we do wrong?
Chris: Well, I think I can shed a little light on that. You guys were so baked, you didn't sound anywhere near as good as you thought you were. I was in the audience.
You're not supposed to admire wheelchair people. You're supposed to feel sorry for them
[the Ku Klux Klan are chasing Peter and Cleveland]
Peter: Holy crap, do you see what I see?
Cleveland: I'm afraid I do.
Peter: We're being chased by ghosts!
Peter: Aren't you supposed to be running?
Chicken: Don't talk to me. You have a bad reputation in the chicken community.
Let's go take a ride in my open jeep. I took the doors off so it's extra terrifying.
Peter: I want to have the kind of father and son relationship that the Gumbels have.
Lois: Peter, the Gumbels are brothers.
Peter: Oh nice Lois, just because they're black we can't learn anything from 'em?
Lois: If you kids don't knock it off, we're not goin' to McDonald's after church.
Meg and Chris: MOM!
Peter: Don't worry. We're goin'. B-B-But you don't get the Supersize.
Chris: OH!
Peter: Okay, you can Supersize. But no apple pie!
Meg: Oh, come on!
Peter: Okay, you get an apple pie, but you can't blow on it
Peter: Guys, be sure to look down the whole time. It's really deep and freaky and disoritenting! [falls] It's okay, there'a huge pile of dead bodies down here that cushioned my fall.
Lois: Do any of them seem like they have any extra tampons in their backpack?
Peter Uh, no.
Lois: No like you checked and there aren't any no, or no you're just assuming?
Peter: I'm embarassed.
I always wanted to go to Canada, but then South Park went so we couldn't go.
Peter: (inadvertently punches the giant chicken)
Some guy: Oh whoa big guy,(holding the giant chicken), you probably never even gonna see him again.
Peter: Geez Meg, you ruined my good time! Just like basic cable.
(flashback)
TV: We now return to "Showgirls"...
Peter: Yay!
TV:...On TBS.
Peter: Aww...
Peter: Give it to me straight Doctor Jewish; Is he gonna live?
Dr. Jewish: Mister Griffin, I'm afraid that your Parrot is dead.
Peter: Noooo! Did he at least die with dignity?
Dr. Jewish: Well, he convulsed a lot and fell off the operating table. Then he flopped around a little on the floor, then a passing nurse accidentally stepped on him and kicked him into a puddle of urine, which must have frightened him because his bowels released all over himself. I tried to pick him up, but then, I got angry because some of it got on my thumb. So I threw him against the wall, and that's where he died.
Peter: That's the way I wanna go.
