Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXPopular Peter Griffin Quotes
Peter: I want to have the kind of father and son relationship that the Gumbels have.
Lois: Peter, the Gumbels are brothers.
Peter: Oh nice Lois, just because they're black we can't learn anything from 'em?
Brian: Peter, this is the final plague!
Peter: Good cause this is starting to get old
Hey Lois, give Chris a break. I mean, no TV? So he failed a class, it's not like he felt up his cousin in the garage that one time when I was
Peter: When did God ever say he didn't want someone else being worshipped like him?
Lois: It's one of the Ten Commandments.
Peter: Oh, come on Lois, those were written like 200 years ago. Times have changed
Peter: I'll handle it Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.
Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?
Peter: Oh yeah
Lois, anyone who wouldn't pretend their own son is dyin' to get the Gumble's back on TV is a racist. There. I said it
Chris: Are you sure this'll work?
Peter: Chris, this is just another one of your crazy schemes.
Chris: But this whole thing was your idea.
Peter: You'll find out.
Chris: Dad, you're not makin' any sense.
Peter: You just leave that to me
Peter: You gonna eat that stapler?
Calahan: Umm... you can't eat a-
Peter: Wanna split it?
When I'm done, our students will be so smart, they'll be able to program their VCRs without spilling piping hot gravy all over myself
Peter [at the debate]: Well, I-I have always cared deeply about young people. As a rich college bound student I once joined some underprivileged youths in saving a community center from being converted into a shopping mall. (crowd cheers)
Lois: Peter, that wasn't you. That was Adolfo "Shabba-Doo" in Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo! You watched that last night... (crowd boos)
Peter: Hey, Lois, what's with the sign?
Lois: Peter we discussed this, I'm running for school board. You never listen to me.
Peter: Oh yeah, I remember. Hey Cleveland, hey Quagmire. ... Hey, Lois, what's with the sign?
How the hell am I going to break this to Lois? If she finds out I got fired for drinking, she's going to blame me!
