Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXPeter Griffin Quotes
Wait till you see Breaking Bad; I don't know what it was, but now it's on rollerskates.
Peter: Dear Cary Elwes, I have been meaning to contact you for some time. I have never been able to figure out if you are famous. You were a big deal in one thing, but you were wearing a mask for most it. Do you consider your career a disappointment, or rather, did you exceed your own expectations? Yours truly, Peter Griffin. P.S. You were in Robin Hood: Men In Tights. Did you know that?
Brian, keys. Chris, beer. Meg, ugly!
Okay, who replaced my glasses with forks? I mean, they're really good for seeing forks, but not for much else.
Stewie: No, that's great, actually because, now anyone walking behind you will know you had 60 dollars.
Peter: Whoa, that is awesome, Lois! Your bum looks like an NBA star's arm! Except it's not paying someone to install a Playstation in a car.
Chris: Dad, how did you get Mom out of the house so we could decorate?
Peter: Well Chris, I constructed a very elaborate fake grocery store.
Lois: He seems nice.
Peter: Sorry, I missed all that. I was tweeting.
There's an apartment above that Arby's, with toys in the window. Someone has built a life there. What a mess.
Peter: I like that you can tell me your stories starting at the Clam and end it on a ferris wheel.
Quagmire: Yeah, people are starving in Africa and I'm in a carnival with my best buddies on a beautiful night. Blessings. Blessings.
Well, it's up to you buddy. Save this marriage.
Lois: Peter, you left the flap open!
Peter: It's like a thousand degrees in here, Lois!
Lois: Close the tent now, it's freezing!
Peter: Headline: "Woman Cold."
Peter: Guys, be sure to look down the whole time. It's really deep and freaky and disoritenting! [falls] It's okay, there'a huge pile of dead bodies down here that cushioned my fall.
Lois: Do any of them seem like they have any extra tampons in their backpack?
Peter Uh, no.
Lois: No like you checked and there aren't any no, or no you're just assuming?
Peter: I'm embarassed.
