Peter Griffin Quotes (Page 67)
Season 2, Episode 17: "He's Too Sexy for His Fat"
Lois: I hate what you become! Why don't you go back to that doctor and tell him to suck the fat out of your head?
Peter: Maybe I will, and then I'll put it on my feet and skate on Paul Bunyan's skillet to cook his flapjacks.
Lois: That doesn't make any sense!
Peter: It doesn't have to, Lois, I'm beautiful
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Lois: Did you paste your picture over our wedding portrait?
Peter: Yeah, I think it looks better.
Lois: You pasted it over mine.
Peter: Yeah, I think it looks better
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Cleveland: If you're this desperate about Chris's weight, why don't you just suck the fat out?
Peter: Look, if you can find a hole on the boy that you want to put your lips on, be my guest
• Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Guard: Excuse me sir, you can't park your van on the diving board.
Peter: That's not a van! That's my son
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Peter [after surgery]: Knock knock!
Brian: Hey, pal, you can't just walk in here without - holy crap, it's Peter.
Chris: Dad, you're pretty, like a girl
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Lois: Peter, did you get a new buttocks?
Peter: I had to. My old one had a crack in it.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 16: "There's Something About Paulie"
Peter: Oh no Lois. A guy at work bought a car out of the paper once. Ten years later, BAM. Herpes
• Rating: 4.7 / 5.0
Salesman: WOAH! Have you lost weight?
Peter: No, its still there, I'm just partin' it on the side
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
The Don: I have asked you here tonight so that you can perform a service
Peter: Oh, what are you gonna make me do? Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? Cause I'm married ya know
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Lois: Together we can do anything: face any foe, overcome any obstacle.
Peter: Yeah, climb any mountain, rent any video, dial any phone. And not just our phone, Lois, other people's phones. Decent phones, God-fearing phones, phones that everybody else gave up on, but we knew better because we were a team!
Brian: What the hell are you talking about?
• Rating: 3.7 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 795
