Peter Griffin Quotes
And Joe, I've had new neighbors before, but none of them were half the man you are, and since you're half a man already, that splits them into some kind of fraction I can't even measure
Peter: Wait a minute! Meg, when did you become a teenager?
Lois: She's 16, Peter.
Peter: You knew about this?
That was then and this is now. And this is a chair. And that's a lamp. And you have boobies. And I'm gonna find that trophy!
Peter [about a handbag]: Oh I love you sweety. What are they like 10 bucks?
Meg: More like eleven...hundred.
Peter: Heh, you wished I loved you that much
Joe: Peter wanted the trophy the most.
Peter: I couldn't have stolen the trophy. Last night I was stealing Joe's ladder so I could steal the trophy tonight.
Peter: What? It's a ladder, he's not gonna use it. That's like taking a watch off a dead guy
Peter: You told them that we cheat on our taxes, steal lawn mowers, and worship some guy named Stan.
Bonnie: Actually I said Satan. That must have been a typo
And Cleveland, you're the boss because of your attention to detail. Like when we play pool, you take so long to line up your shot that I just want to crack you with a cue stick. But I don't because that would be a hate crime and I love you
Brian: It's amazing, Peter. You've inspired the whole neighborhood to work together.
Peter: You know what's really amazing? I haven't brushed my teeth in three days, and no-one has said a thing
Lois: This could be a great chance for you two to bond.
Peter: Bond? James Bond. I'll do it
Lois: It's Stewie. He peed on the carpet.
Peter: Do I... Do I hit him?
Peter: Hey Brian. How ya doin'? They let you out already?
Brian: Peter, I was in a therapy session, not a lunatic asylum
Brian: My therapist thinks he's figured out what my problem is.
Peter: Oh yeah, what does Sigmund Fraud think it is?
Brian: He, ah, thinks I'm in love.
Peter: Oh my God. You can talk!
Brian: Never mind