Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCFavorite Phil Dunphy Quotes
You're worried about germs? I've seen you kiss a pigeon on the mouth.
Claire: We need a game plan, we need to map out exactly what we are going to say, because that is the only way I will be able to hold it together while our babies look at us with judgment and disgust.
Phil: That's how they always look at us.
Baby doll, I've been lying to my wife for 16 years.
Jay and I are buds, for sure, but with kind of um, an invisible, asterisk. Um, he's not the, he's not a talker, or, or hugger. Once he ran over my foot with his car. But in his defense, he had just given up smoking, but basically we're buds
Look who needs me now? Mr. Hot Dog fingers can't press 'print' without hitting three extra keys. Yeah, in my house now Jay! Technically we'll be in his house, but we'll be in my area of his house.
Let me know if you run low on supplies, I'll take a quick trip to the 1950s for you.
Haley: Dad, gross, your hand smells like cheese.
Phil: I didn't want to dirty a knife.
Phil: I need the scariest reptile you got.
Jungle Tanya: I have an iguana that eats crickets.
Phile: That would be scary if it was a bday for crickets. Seriously Jungle Tanya, I need you to step it up a notch. Is there anything that scares the coocoo out of you?
Jungle Tanya: Not really. I do have a bearded dragon...
Phil: Ooh!
Jungle Tanya: No, it doesn't breath fire.
Phil: Luke's not much of a clown fan.
Cameron: Has he ever seen a good one?
Phil: Has anyone?
Some people call me a salesman, I call myself a salesfriend, so obviously I need strangers to trust me. I don't take it kindly when someone Tom Sellecks my bus bench.
Just test-driving my new soup strainer. I dug it out of the Halloween stuff to see what people think.
Claire: Who's our dumbest kid?
Phil: Luke.
