South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralFavorite Randy Marsh Quotes
Stan: Dad, do we really have to wear bras?
Randy: Yeah, Stan, this is what people want! Don't worry, you look really cool!
I can't believe you boys gave us herpes...you little rascals.
Look, I'm telling you guys, it's awesome. I can have all the pot I want. I get around faster than walking and wherever I need a seat, I can just sit on my balls.
Detective: Dammit, Marsh. Why couldn't you have just kept your stupid, ugly kid in line?
Randy: Hey, don't start blaming me for his looks.
(singing to Stan) Hush little baby, don't say a word, momma's gonna buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird don't sing, momma's gonna bury it in the backyard
Sharon Marsh
You can't just hang out with your buddy, Kyle, all the time. People will think you guys are, you know, funny.
Randy: Boys, did you notice anything strange about Kenny, in the weeks leading up to his combustion? What did he spend his time doing?
Kyle: He didn't do anything. He was always with his new girlfriend.
Randy: New girlfriend?
Stan: Yeah, he started seeing this girl and he spent all his time taking the bus to go visit her. What does that have to do with his death?
Randy: Maybe nothing...maybe everything.
(Dramatic music plays in the background)
Stan: Yeah, well, we're gonna go work on getting Kyle's dad a nerection.
Randy: Yes, yes of course-I've got work to do.
(They leave the room)
Randy: What?
Randy Marsh: Hey, if you watch another guy masturbate, does that make you gay?
Jimbo: What!?
Randy: Well, I just, I have this buddy, uh, he sat and watched this other guy play with himself.
Guest: Well, let's go kick his ass.
Mr. Stotch: what was the show about?
Randy: I dunno, some green chick and a goat.
I want you to look at me when we make love, and not just my balls.
Randy: Yeah, the players should all wear bras! And instead of helmets, they should wear little tin-foil hats, because you know, it's the future, and we shouldn't be so barbaric!
Principal Victoria: How will the bras and tin-foil hats make it safer?
Randy: Oh, you're all not getting it, see, while we're at it, we'll have a balloon instead of a ball, and whoever catches the ballon will tries to run while all the other players hug!
Oh, I get it. Video stores are so old, they have ghosts in them. Okay, thanks, I get it!
