Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men

Mondays 9:00 PM on CBS

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Rose Quotes

Season 8, Episode 16: "That Darn Priest"
Alan: Your husband's a dummy.
Rose: To be fair, he wasn't the one who was fooled by a mannequin.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 8, Episode 14: "Lookin' for Japanese Subs"
Rose: He said in the whole world I'm the only one that can move him.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0
Rose: He doesn't even know you exist and I plan on keeping it that way.
Charlie: How is that possible? What about the tattoo?
Rose: I had glasses added to it and told him it was Harry Potter.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 8, Episode 7: "The Crazy Bitch Gazette"
Rose: I am getting married next Sunday and I just wanted to let you know before you hear it somewhere else.
Charlie: Where else would I hear it? The society page of the Crazy Bitch Gazette?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 6, Episode 21: "Above Exalted Cyclops"
Rose: This is a side of Alan Harper I've never seen before -- forceful, confident
Alan: Oh, thank you
Rose: I don't like it
 • Rating: Unrated
Alan: We need to talk about boundaries
Rose: It was just my pinky, Alan
Alan: No, that was fun
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 5, Episode 14: "Winky-Dink Time"
Alan: It's just a coincidence that I'm sitting here waiting for a prostitute, and all of the sudden you show up at the front door?
Rose: You're waiting for a prostitute?
Alan: No.
Rose: Oh, Alan, that's not like you.
Alan: Yeah, well, when you've had your heart broken enough times and can't even bear the thought of having an emotional connection with another human being, what else is there to do?
Rose: A lot of people masturbate, I hear. Really, I've heard them.
Alan: Nevertheless, sometimes a man needs to feel something other than his own touch.
Rose: Have you tried switching hands? It's like being with a clumsy stranger.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 5, Episode 12: "A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh "
Rose: I'm a loving nurturer.
Jake: Uncle Charlie says you're a crazy stalker.
Rose: Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.
 • Rating: Unrated
Charlie: Rose, I thought you were in England.
Rose: I was asked to leave.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jake: Hey, Rose, you wanna go see a movie later?
Rose: Maybe. We'll see how your uncle's feeling. He's very, very sick.
Alan: So, basically, what we're saying here is, you'll go to the movies with anybody but me.
Jake: Not anybody. I wouldn't go with Hitler.
 • Rating: Unrated

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Total Quotes: 35
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