Ted Mosby Quotes (Page 16)
Season 5, Episode 3: "Robin 101"
Ted [to Robin]: I've seen barney try really hard to get women, I've seen barney try really hard to get rid of women, but I've never seen barney try so hard to keep a woman
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ted: When you date someone it's like you're taking a class in them and when you break up it's like all that knowledge is useless. It's the emotional equivalent of an English degree
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ted: Pop quiz. When robin is PMSing what kind of chocolate should youg et her?
Barney: Trick question. Get her butter scotch.
Ted: Correct. Why?
Barney: Butter scotch is to Canadian women what chocolate is to American women
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Ted [about a picture of Robin with nostrils flaring]: If you ever see this face, whatever you do, run and do not take a picture or she will punch you.. and you will cry.. for the third time... that night
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Ted: You were like the worst student in the world, weren't you?
Barney: They said I AD...something... can we have class outside?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ted [about Robin]: Don't cry in front of her, and whatever you do, don't cry in front of her four times
• Rating: Unrated
Season 5, Episode 2: "Double Date"
Jen: We're going to die alone aren't we?
Ted: Well, you'll have your cats
• Rating: Unrated
Season 5, Episode 1: "Definitions"
Ted [about Barney and Robin]: You do realize that they were lying to you
Lily: No, they don't realize that they weren't lying
• Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Barney: How do you keep a girl from becoming your girlfriend? Simple, the rules for girls are the same as gremlins. Rule number one: never get them wet. In otherwards, don't let her take a shower in your place. Rule number two: keep them away from sunlight. i.e don't ever see them during the day. And rule number three: never feed them after midnight. Meaning she doesn't sleep over and you don't have breakfast with her, ever
Ted: What about brunch? Is brunch cool?
Barney: No Ted, brunch is not cool
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 24: "The Leap"
Nurse: So you're the guy who tried to make it with a goat?
Ted: If anything that goat tried to make it with me. Can I go please?
Nurse: You can go, buddy, just remember bahhh means bahhh
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 412
