Scrubs

The Janitor Quotes (Page 11)

Ted: (Playfully punching the Janitor) Hey there, little boy blue!
Janitor: Don't punch the new uni'.
Ted: (Still punching the Janitor) Little boy blue, blow your horn... (laughs and leaves)
Janitor: ...he didn't stop.
 • Rating: Unrated

Janitor: I'm not happy with my uniform.
Dr. Kelso: Ahh, new janitor uniforms, top priority. Right up there with silk jammies for the patients and a cat door for the ICU.
Janitor: I made some sketches.
Dr. Kelso: This one has a cape!
Janitor: That gives me the option of fighting crime...after work, of course...now this one got sort of a medieval thing going.
Dr. Kelso: Is he on a horse?
Janitor: It's his steed, sir...that's for clean-ups in outer space...this one's outer space, evening wear. This one's just a kangaroo...sometimes I draw kangaroos.
 • Rating: Unrated

Nurse: Looking good, Janitor.
Janitor: Well thank you, petite-lady.
Todd: Wow, that color really brings out your package.
Janitor: Thank you, supposedly-straight surgeon.
 • Rating: Unrated

Janitor: Okay, how about this one? Three blue-jays fly into a bar and they say, "we just want to wet out beaks". Ha, ha, ha... no?
 • Rating: Unrated

Janitor: Dr. Kelso, while I got you here, I need to discuss a hospital matter of grave importance.
Dr. Kelso: What is it?
Janitor: I'm not happy with my uniform.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Kelso: You know I could look at the demented crayon scratchings of a madman all day, but I got a hospital to run. Did you wax over there yet?
Janitor: No sir... I'll get a new uniform or I'll wax everything in your WORLD!
 • Rating: Unrated

Janitor: Nice, huh?
J.D.: Who gets a tattoo of a mop?
 • Rating: Unrated

Janitor: You gave me a cursed uniform!
Dr. Kelso: Ha, ha, ha, it's not cursed, its simple psychology. I chose Robin's-Egg blue because it has a calming effect on people & I knew it would be the thorn in your paw. Other colours evoke different reactions, for example bright orange has been found to provoke hostility.
Ted: Doctor Kelso, I wanna thank you again for the tie.
(Ted is thumped in the arm by Todd)
Todd: Fist Five!
Ted: OWW! It's the third time today.
 • Rating: Unrated

Janitor: Heh, Photoshop, you can do anything. (Holds up a photo) Here I have you wearing a ducks bill. Get it? Because you're a quack! Get it? Classic comedy my friend.
 • Rating: Unrated

Janitor: Hey, all my pictures were in there! Dead patient with fancy shirt, dead patient without fancy shirt, me in fancy shirt being yelled at by angry family!
 • Rating: Unrated

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