The Janitor Quotes
Mr. Corman: Yeah, fine. Okay, I'll go practice, I'll tell you how it went - just gimme your cell phone number.
Turk: All right, that's it. Look, Mr. Corman, I will see you whenever I have office hours, but I will not see you outside of this hospital. And there is no way that I would ever give you my cell phone number! No matter how awesome or perfect it may be! Are we clear on that?
Mr. Corman: Yes, doctor.
Janitor: Maybe it's just me, but... I wouldn't put up with that.
Mr. Corman: I'm listening.
Carla: Hey, Night School! Mr. Corman followed us home last night!
Turk: How'd you get my cell phone number?
Janitor: Ehh, once you got somebody's drivers license and a urine sample, you get just about anything. How do you flunk eighth grade gym?
Carla: You better stop messing with my husband.
Janitor: You-tell him to stop messing with my walls!
Carla: You did this?
Turk: Baby, you know you're my world.
Carla: I'm out.
Janitor: I flunked gym, too. Didn't like the shorts.
J.D.: What are you doing?
Janitor: It's been four years. How do you not get how this works.
Dr. Kelso: Perry, what's our plan of attack?
Dr. Cox: When I crush a person's spirit, I like to use a combination of intimidation and degradation.
Dr. Kelso: I prefer to create an environment in which the subjects end up crushing themselves!
Dr. Cox: Aha.
Janitor: I like to pick one person and torment them relentlessly for no reason. If I could find them I'd show ya.
Janitor: Well, howdy, Dr. Kelso. Ain't she a beaut'? I rented her so I could repair the air conditioning unit.
Dr. Kelso: Looks expensive, who authorised it?
Janitor: Why, you did, sir. Must have been Tuesday last.
Dr. Kelso: Stop talking like a farmer!
Dr. Kelso: He's not a day over fifty-five and he has Alzheimer's. Really makes you think, doesn't it?
Janitor: You're over fifty-five, aren't you sir?
Dr. Kelso: What's your point?
Janitor: Nothing.
Don't mean to bother anybody. I'm just showing nurse Martinez here around the hospital. That's our chief of medicine, that is a patient, and that is you in twenty years. Okay, let's go look at dead people.
Janitor:You know I’m not going to have a kid until that genetic technology they’ve been talking about available for everyone.
Carla: So you want to pick the sex and eye colour.
Janitor: No, gills. When that day comes it’s goodbye hospital, hello father son treasure hunting team.
Carla: Wow. Well you better get cracking, what are you like forty-five.
Janitor: Forty-three. I know I look a little older but that’s just because I drink and smoke heavily and work with chemicals and sleep on my face.
Carla: No hard feelings.
Janitor: I swear on my unborn fish boys life, she will pay.
Janitor: I can clean it for you.
Carla: Why would you do that?
Janitor: I don't know.... Still a little drunk from breakfast. Plus, taxidermy used to be kind a...hobby of mine. You know, till the state took my license away.
Carla: Where, where am I gonna find a dead stuffed yellow lab?
Janitor: I can help.
Carla: No, you have work to do.
They both laugh
Janitor: Let's go.
Janitor: Heard you're trying to clean a dead dog.
Carla: Yeah, who told you that?
Janitor: Mmm, the wind... Blonde doctor.
Carla: You found Rowdy!?!
Janitor: Nope. Not Rowdy. This is Steven. You know, Rowdy was 48 inches from snout to tail, Steven's only 46...on a good day.
Carla: I think we're okay!
Janitor: I got him off another taxidermy guy on the internet. Had to trade him my, uh, squirrel army.
Carla: Oh, I'm sorry you had to do that; but thank you!
Janitor: Nah. Everyone thinks squirrel armies are so great...I'm not sure it's the healthiest habit in the world.
