Walden Schmidt Quotes (Page 2)
Season 10, Episode 13: "Grab a Feather and Get in Line"
Walden: My penis is like Santa Claus, I don't have to see it, I just need to believe it exists.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 10, Episode 12: "Welcome to Alancrest"
Walden: You are supposed to act like a rich guy, not a gay Bruce Wayne.
• Rating: Unrated
Walden: You will be surprised what happens to a guy when money is tight.
Alan: Please, I have been so desperate, I have climbed into fountains at night and stolen the wishes of little children.
Walden: So you get it.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 10, Episode 10: "One Nut Johnson"
Walden: How long do you think you can keep living here rent-free...?
• Rating: Unrated
Walden: If I were a struggling, broke-ass guy, what will my name be...? Keep in mind, Alan Harper is already taken.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 10, Episode 9: "I Scream When I Pee"
Walden: I love you Berta.
Berta: You are one sentimental little taco.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 10, Episode 8: "Something My Gynocologist Said"
Alan: The only thing I got from the truck driver was a pack of cigarettes and an eyebrow pencil.
Walden: I gotta tell you, it is nice to be taken care of once for a change, but look who I am talking to.
• Rating: Unrated
Alan: Lyndsey has been pushing me to make a commitment because some other guy asked her out.
Walden: Who asked her out?
Alan: Her gynecologist.
Walden: At least he knows what he is getting into.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 10, Episode 7: "Avoid the Chinese Mustard"
Whitney: Wow, that is a lot of zeros. So are you really a genius and philanthropist?
Walden: Yes, I also fight crime.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 10, Episode 6: "Ferrets, Attack!"
Alan: This time, you invited the vampire into the house.
Walden: In my defense, the vampire was naked at the time.
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 50