Walden Schmidt Quotes (Page 3)
Season 10, Episode 6: "Ferrets, Attack!"
Walden: She says wants to meet for coffee.
Alan: Oh, be careful. In my experience, when an ex wants to meet for coffee, it is either they want to borrow money or tell you that they gave you crabs.
Walden: You share too much.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 10, Episode 5: "That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam"
Walden: I am tired of dating crazy, cheating, greedy, gold-digging bitches.
Alan: Sigh, without them, I would not have gotten laid.
Walden: And there will be no reality TV stars.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 10, Episode 3: "Four Balls, Two Bats, and One Mitt"
Berta: You can just keep staring at your laptop all day.
Walden: I made a billion dollars doing this.
Berta: Well, carry on.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 10, Episode 2: "A Big Bag of Dog"
Walden: I am not dating your mom again.
Ava: I know that, she is in the shower with Peter.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 10, Episode 1: "I Changed My Mind About The Milk"
Walden: Now she won't return my calls, emails or texts. It is like she is ignoring across the whole digital spectrum. It is like she is Amish.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 9, Episode 24: "Oh Look! Al Qaeda?"
Alan: This is serious; you will never amount to anything, if you sleep all day.
Walden: Morning.
Jake: I am sorry; I was just distracted by the naked billionaire that just woke up.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 9, Episode 22: "Why We Gave Up Women"
Jake: Honest to God, someone put that pot in my locker.
Walden: Why would someone do that?
Jake: That my friend, is the million dollar question.
• Rating: 2.0 / 5.0
Walden: How are you feeling?
Alan: Fantastic, I am on a morphine drip, everyone should have a morphine drip, and there will be no more drips.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 9, Episode 20: "Grandma's Pie"
Alan: Here you go.
Walden: I gotta ask, what's with the tea? You make it for me, you make it for Lyndsey
Alan: I got a little philosophy, when someone is nice enough to let me into their home or their pants, I like to show my appreciation.
Walden: Without spending any money
Alan: You know me so well.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Alan: You gotta be excited about having your girlfriend back. What has been like a month?
Walden: Three weeks.
Alan: Still that is like a decade in penis years.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 50