Alan: The only reason to wear a hat on a date is to cover a bald spot.
Walden: Here you go, for your next date.

Walden: How do I look?
Alan: Your face should be on gay money.

Two and a Half Men Quotes

Charlie: Oh, try MalibuPuddingGirls.com.
Alan: Pudding Girls?
Charlie: Trust me.
Alan: Oh ... ew.

Alan: What's the forecast?
Charlie: High tonight, low tomorrow, 100% chance of hangover.