I want the good stuff! I want cheese that isn't air-dropped into...
Charlie: I want the good stuff! I want cheese that isn't air-dropped into Third World countries! I want ouchless toilet paper! I want vodka that doesn't look like Fred Flintstone would drink it! I want my life back.
Alan: Fine. Then swallow your pride, call Mom, and ask her to lend you some money.
Charlie [opening the bottle of generic vodka]: Yabba-dabba-doo.
- Charlie Harper, Alan Harper
- Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14: "I Can't Afford Hyenas"
- Two and a Half Men
- Related Quotes:
- Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
- Added by:
- Eric Hochberger
Charlie: Great, why don't I just shoot myself?
Alan: Can't afford a gun
- Permalink: Great, why don't I just shoot myself? Can't afford a gun
Alan: Charlie, call me an old-fashioned dad, but I was hoping my son wouldn't start betting on sports until he's old enough to have a drinking problem.
Charlie: He didn't really make a bet. I just gave him a taste of my action.
Alan: Nor do I want him tasting your action.
Jake: Dad, without action there's no juice.
Alan: All of a sudden, he's Frank Sinatra
- Permalink: Charlie, call me an old-fashioned dad, but I was hoping my son w...